Friday, May 12, 2006

The most dangerous place to work

Place: The County General Emergency Room
Location: Chicago, IL

As I watch the 84th season of e.r. it occurs to me (not for the first time) that this place of employment is an awfully hard place to work. Often times, tragic, freak accidents have struck down the doctors and nurses of this ER and I think it is time for someone to note that maybe this hospital should be shut down as a measure to reduce such atrocities. During all of these seasons people seem to succumb to something or another during November, February, and May (coincidentally this is also when t.v. sweeps take place, but I digress). Here is a brief compilation of the awful things at County General:

Death by natural causes: Dr. Mark Greene
Death by murder: Lucy (stabbed in the heart by some schizo),
Death by BIZARRE accident: the mean red-headed doctor who was crushed by a HELICOPTER that fell ON HIM at the front door of the e.r. (ironically enough, it was only months before that his arm was severed by the blade of a helicopter)
Death by sad events: suicide of Dr. Benton's surgical intern, Dr. Gallant in Iraq (last night)

Other weird stuff at the e.r.:
gunfire, explosion of a plane, blackout, quarantine, overdose, carjacking, drive by shooting, racial profiling, domestic abuse, alcoholism, genocide (the episodes in Africa). Note that all of this includes the employees, I am not including the patients who visit this cursed hospital.

Also disturbing? The incidence of UNPLANNED pregnancy in these doctors and nurses: Dr. Greene and the British one; Abby and Luka; Dr. Lewis and the red-headed EMT; Benton and the crazy lady; Carter and the chick from Africa. If these people can't figure out how to use a condom then they shouldn't be treating humans for complex medical problems.

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