Wednesday, May 31, 2006

A glimmer of hope?

Things seem to be looking up in the job department. I had some encouraging developments which I will elaborate on at a later date, but suffice to say that my confidence has been boosted. Could this be the summer that I start turning things around? I hope so. I'm glad it's summer. There is just something about this time of year that seems more dreammy (for lack of a better word) than any other time. It is a lazier time of year because it is so f'in hot - at least for those of us in the South. I like to think about my summers when I was a kid and some of my favorite memories were when I would just have the whole day to myself to play with friends, swim at the pool, and be worry free. Ahhh, to be a kid again.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

No, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth

I headed to Nashville this past Memorial Day weekend and visited with friends and family. Things went okay. I was expecting to enjoy more of a relaxing time, but that was pretty much ruined the first night when I got some "helpful" advice from my brother. One thing that is important to know about me is that when people tell me to stop doing something it just makes me want to do it more (sure that is the kindergarten response, but it's the truth). That just set the tone for the rest of the weekend, but there were some highlights. We had a very nice Memorial Day cookout and I got to spend some quality time with several of my friends and my adorable goddaughter, Isabella (she still thinks I'm great-which I think is great). All in all, I am glad to be home and shall be blogging away for the summer.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

And the letter for today is "D"

I was tagged in a letter game by Cat (see link to right) and I have to name ten things that begin with the letter "D" and provide a brief definition. Here goes:
1. Dale Earnhardt, Jr: (see hot picture) talented and comely NASCAR driver. He is "my" driver in the series and I will some day be his wife. Former Busch Series champion, future Nextel Cup Series Champion. Son of the later great Dale Earnhardt. He has various nicknames, the most popular being "Little E" or just "Junior." Feel free to use either and pretend you are in the know.
2. Dale Earnhardt: (see picture above) highly competitive NASCAR driver who is considered one of the "greats" and was known as "The Intimidator" for his no holds barred driving style on the track. Father of four children including Dale, Jr. Died tragically on the last lap of the Daytona 500 in 2001 and he has since been elevated to something close a mythical figure since his passing.
3. 'Dega (as in Talladega - so, I cheated): Nickname for the Talladega Super Speedway, the longest track on the NASCAR circuit. Located just an hour and a half Northeast of Birmingham, it is one of the most exciting and dangerous tracks. Currently, I have been to six races at this particular track and look forward to many more. Races are typically held on the last weekend of April and the second weekend of October.
4. Daddy: my dad is a hard working, caring guy who is ultra-conservative and loves to push my political buttons. He has been employed by the same company for the past 32 years and will be retiring in a matter of months. Interests - LSU football, movies, diet coke, his kids, yelling at the computer, yelling at Democrats, his dog.
5. Donuts: mmmm-mmmm Krispy Kreme. The best donuts of all. These little round breakfast (or all day) foods are delightful and eventually cardiac arrest inducing. They can come in all sorts of fantastic flavors and with different kind of yummy toppings. Best when served fresh and hot (luckily, KK has a sign that flashes when this happens)>
6. Dogs: particularly Teddy. The best dog in the entire world, although he is spoiled beyond belief. Tricks: only knows how to sit occasionally and react insanely to the word "treat" or "outside." He brings lots of joy to my life and has been known to cheer me up on a regular basis. He is a handsome fellow that knows it. Just the kind of guy you would hate to date, but a great quality in a pet.
7. Diana Palmer: author of over 100 romance novels and I have read probably about 95% of them. Despite the fact that her books are hokey and stereotypical I just can't seem to resist reading them. Next book release, July 2006 (and yes, I will own it soon after).
8. Dodgeball: An awfully violent childhood game and a hilarious movie starring Vince Vaughn and Ben Stiller. If you haven't seen this movie you need to go out and buy it and proceed to laugh your a** off.
9. Davy Jones: (see picture above) lead singer of the original boy band The Monkees. He set teenage hearts a pitter-pattering during the early 70s. Marsha on The Brady Bunch even arrange for him to perform at one of her school dances. He has since pimped himself out to promote greatest hits collections from the 50s, 60s, and 70s. He is approximately 4'9" and could fit in my pocket. He also rocked a mighty fine bowl-cut.
10. Drinking/Drunk: One of my favorite ways to pass the time. I enjoy a cold brew (preferably Bud Light) and can go for a gin and tonic now and then (double lime - please). Drunk is a way I have been many a time and have done some very memorable things while in this state. So proud.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Irrationally hurt feelings: Rectified

I got a call from my dad today and he said that his company is flying him down to the national meeting for some retirement parties and a mini vacation. His boss asked if he wanted to take anyone and he is taking me! Yippee! I get to go to the beach in August. Sure it will be hot as _____ (fill in the blank), but I am still excited. This is way better than a couple of festivities up in Nashville (athough it would have been nice to attend). Ahhh, sunning myself and being catered to on the beach. Somebody is about to get serious about Weight Watchers. Tubby ain't going to the beach.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Tivo is Psychic!

Apparently my Tivo knows me well and realized that I might need a Monday evening pick-me-up. I came home to find a Tivo Suggested (for those not in the know, it is something that Tivo records on its own) program waiting for me after I got home from work. There it was: Taradise. This wonderful show is so bad it's good. I know it has been cancelled, but it is still a nice treat. Ms. Reid covorts around certain hedonistic areas of Europe in strange, transparent, ultra mini (I mean up the a**) get-ups. She is perpetually drunk and raspy voiced throughout the episodes and it makes you realize that no matter where you are in life, it's got to be a little more meaningful than her jaunts across The Continent.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

It was never broken

Teddy here again. I thought I would take on a subject that is often taboo in the pet world and needs to be out in the open: Spaying and Neutering.

I was once a whole man. Up until the 6th month of my life, I humped what I wanted and thought nothing of it. Then came that cold November day when I was changed forever. She (Katie) told her friends I was being "fixed." Fixed?! Excuse me? I will have you know that there was nothing wrong with me to begin with. Saying that I was being fixed was misleading and inaccurate. For the week before "the incident" I kept hearing her use the term and I figured she was bringing me in for some minor corrective plastic surgery. I have always found myself disarmingly handsome, but nobody's perfect so I was game. Little did I know that after I came out of the anestesia I would be missing two of my most favorite things. Later I found out that the Teddy G. line would not be extended. I would have no heirs to inherit my stuffed animal and chew toy collection. I've never been able to look at Katie the same since she came to pick me up and I am currently working on forgiving her with my therapist. We'll see. I'm not a miracle worker.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

It happens

Filed under my ever increasing heading of "move on, already!" is the Britney Spears "stumble." You would think that she had some sort of baby sacrificing ritual broadcast on cable. She stumbled, she held onto the kid, end of story. Sure, she could have worn a little less white-trashy outfit or higher pants to prevent the showing of her booty. Otherwise, this is just ridiculous. I think most people have a story about when they were babies and something dangerous happened or a close call. I am no Britney apologist, but give the girl a break (she's already suffering as the wife of a man that seriously uses words such as "Yo" and "Off 'da hook" when referring to his own talent).

Something to entertain you over the weekend

Thanks to my friend Sean, I have discovered the amusement of The Dormitory Boys. They're these two chinese guys that lip synch. Now, I know that the concept seems a bit obscure or boring, but give the link below a look.

I am going to add them to my links on the right, but 'til then, enjoy.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Checkin' in before the weekend

It's Friday and I am excited for the weekend! I don't really have much going on this weekend, but I am sure something will come up. Unfortunately, I have to work late tomorrow night and I will not be able attend a really fun party I was invited to. Oh well. I am hoping to have a fun Saturday, but I will let ya'll know (it is the NASCAR All-Star race - vote Kyle Petty!). Okay, enough about my weekend.

P.S. I changed my profile description. It just seemed to fit.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

For the love of all that is holy

Do not waste your time watching An American Haunting. Fine, many of you may have seen the previews and made that decision for yourself, but I am from Tennessee and The Bell Witch was a big deal when I was growing up. All the elements were present to make this movie good: Oscar award winning actors (Sissy Spacek, Donald Sutherland), creepy music, liquor (I had two large beers from Outback before attending the show), and a semi-hot guy. Unfortunately, this coalesced into a cheesy movie with a repetitive "scary" sequence and a creepy (in a Michael Jackson way) plot twist. The one good thing was the movie lasted approximately 14 minutes and I was able to return home almost before I realized that the movie was quite awfully bad.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Irrationally hurt feelings

My dad's colleagues threw a surprise retirement party for my dad tonight. They are also planning some activities for tomorrow as well. It was also a surprise to my brother and I. I can't go home due to my work schedule and the incredibly short notice (I happened to call during the party tonight and found out then). I wish I was there and I am kind of mad that some of the people planning the party didn't let me or my brother know. I would have tried to get off from work and participate in the festivities and the celebration of my dad's hard work. The other thing that hurts is that my brother and his fiance are there and I'm not. I guess I feel like they don't really miss me or need me. It's a pretty crappy feeling when you don't even feel like you are a part of your own family. This is not the first time I have felt like this, but it is the first time it has hurt my feelings this much.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Library Parties

So, I mentioned that I would detail the events of the library party from Saturday night and that is what this post is about. First, you need to read Wendy's post about the party - click to your right on "Wendy's blog" and read her take on it. Okay, ready?

I was a little reluctant to attend this function partially because it was a graduation party (I graduated four months ago in December) and partially because I don't usually hang out with the library crowd (no dis, just the truth). Wendy and I got there and the party was not "rockin'" per se, but it had a bit of potential. Some of the music was good and some of it was...interesting. As Wendy mentioned, some of the invitees were not the first people I would have invited to a soiree. I had approximately a cracker to eat and six beers in quick sucession. I was a bit plowed. Dancing ensued. Lip-synching followed. To "Proud Mary" by Ike and Tina. I was Tina. Wendy was one of the background dancers along with another library graduate. People, aside from the "backup dancers" I was alone. It was a good moment, a proud moment. Very dignified. Certainly befitting a double Master's graduate. Library folk ain't so bad afterall. They didn't call the police on my drunk ass.

I'm awaiting a letter from the University of Alabama confiscating my degrees.

I'm a little too stoked about

Grey's Anatomy tonight. Two whole hours (well, an hour and a half not counting commercials) and hopefully everyone I really love on the show will still be around for next season. I don't really have much to discuss right now aside from the library school party I went to on Saturday night, but that is going to require some serious computer time to properly set the scene. I am not watching Grey's until after it's over b/c I am working a double right now. I have to head back to the front desk so my computer time is at an end for tonight. Catch ya'll tomorrow.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Sad news

I found out that one of my friends from childhood lost her husband in Iraq this past week. He leaves behind a loving wife and young daughter, not to mention the rest of his friends and family. This war has seemed so distant for me and this just brings everything into sharp perspective. I may not agree with the reasons that this country became involved in this war or why it continues to be involved, but I wholeheartedly support our soldiers. They are doing a job that most of us would not ever want to do and they have my utmost respect for that. I am extending a thank you to anyone who has ever served in a war, in particular this one, and I believe that everyone should too.

Friday, May 12, 2006

The most dangerous place to work

Place: The County General Emergency Room
Location: Chicago, IL

As I watch the 84th season of e.r. it occurs to me (not for the first time) that this place of employment is an awfully hard place to work. Often times, tragic, freak accidents have struck down the doctors and nurses of this ER and I think it is time for someone to note that maybe this hospital should be shut down as a measure to reduce such atrocities. During all of these seasons people seem to succumb to something or another during November, February, and May (coincidentally this is also when t.v. sweeps take place, but I digress). Here is a brief compilation of the awful things at County General:

Death by natural causes: Dr. Mark Greene
Death by murder: Lucy (stabbed in the heart by some schizo),
Death by BIZARRE accident: the mean red-headed doctor who was crushed by a HELICOPTER that fell ON HIM at the front door of the e.r. (ironically enough, it was only months before that his arm was severed by the blade of a helicopter)
Death by sad events: suicide of Dr. Benton's surgical intern, Dr. Gallant in Iraq (last night)

Other weird stuff at the e.r.:
gunfire, explosion of a plane, blackout, quarantine, overdose, carjacking, drive by shooting, racial profiling, domestic abuse, alcoholism, genocide (the episodes in Africa). Note that all of this includes the employees, I am not including the patients who visit this cursed hospital.

Also disturbing? The incidence of UNPLANNED pregnancy in these doctors and nurses: Dr. Greene and the British one; Abby and Luka; Dr. Lewis and the red-headed EMT; Benton and the crazy lady; Carter and the chick from Africa. If these people can't figure out how to use a condom then they shouldn't be treating humans for complex medical problems.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Move on, already!

I'm no big fan of Ashlee Simpson, but I wish people would quit going on and on about her "nose job." So what? She had the bump shaved off. They act like she came back with a nose resembling Michael Jackson's. It could be a lot worse. Remember when Tara Reid had her boobs done and then denied it? Now that is a big difference.<-----

A Day in the Life

It's me again. Teddy, the cooler counterpart to Katie (I like to call her The Taskmaster). I thought I would fill you in on a typical day in my life (basically, all the things Katie doesn't know about and would have a sh*t fit if she knew):

Around 6:30 am I abruptly wake up and have to pee. Immediately. Sometimes I don't, but I sure do like waking Ms. Lazy Bones up from the last ten minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off. She usually tries to distract me, but I just jump off the bed and jump back on a stand right over her head and whine until she gets up. It's great. She's like a disgruntled puppet. After I do my business, we head back inside and I sit on the couch and spy on all the people and dogs that walk around while she takes a shower. Once I have barked and growled and properly guarded my territory it is usually time for what I term "the act." This is where I whine and pretend to be really upset about her going off to work. Something along the lines of (if I chose to speak) "Oh, no, please don't go! My life is over when you leave the confines of this apartment. Why? Why me? Will the misery never stop? Yada, yada, yada..." This ensures that she feels extremely guilty going off to her job. Ha. My work is done. Once she is out the door, I run to the bedroom window and make sure she is really leaving. After she leaves (for sure, sometimes that bitch tricks me and comes back in to get something she "forgot" - right) I run around the living room searching for any food she may have left out. If that turns up nothing, I watch my shows. This typically includes the Golden Girls and Will & Grace because she has the t.v. on Lifetime and I can't change it because of tivo. That Sophia! She is a real pistol! After this I settle in for my mid-morning nap which can run into my early afternoon nap. This is when the real fun part begins, but since this post is going a bit long, I will continue this at a later time...

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Think about this

Okay, everyone has heard that you have to be careful who you are intimate with because it is like you are having sex with them and all of the people that they have been with before. Keeping this in mind, Hollywood is literally a clusterf*ck.

According to this idea many unlikely people have had sex by association. For example:

Lindsay Lohan and Mandy Moore via Wilmer Valderama
Andy Roddick and Wilmer Valderama via Mandy Moore
Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie via Brad Pitt
Brad Pitt and Vince Vaugh via Jennifer Aniston
Justin Timberlake and Kevin Federline via Britney
Tommy Lee and Kid Rock via Pamela Anderson
Tara Reid and Jennifer Love Hewitt via Carson Daly
Paris Hilton and all of Los Angeles

Points for anyone else who can come up with great couples

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Holding the line

I have been inspired by Sarah M. to be open on this blog about a particular aspect of my life. For the past seven months I have been on anti-depressants. Part of this was brought on by the accident, but I was already unhappy before and the accident just brought a lot of it to a head. Some of this might date back to when my mom passed away. I think that my experience with it was pretty traumatic and I was more focused on "how" it happened as opposed to being sad about the fact that she was no longer in my life. School, graduation, my dead end job, and weight gain all led me to the extremely unhappy state I was in several months ago. Now, the meds are holding the line on my depression. I'm not happy, but I am not in that dark place I was before. I have a lot of faith that things will get better and that is what keeps me going to work and accomplishing the things that are expected of me. I have a true desire to be happy and I believe that I will be again. Maybe that's too honest, but I am not ashamed that I had to seek help outside of myself for this and Tom Cruise can kiss my a**. And I mean that in the most respectful way.

Monday, May 08, 2006

What is wrong with David Blaine?

After 30 minutes in the bathtub I feel gross about my wrinkly hands. He sat in a big goldfish bowl for 176 hours. Ick. If you watched it then you should have noticed the grime that coated that nasty bowl. When he hopped out of his water bowl he was wiped off with white towels that will NEVER be clean again. Then, to top off his breath holding stunt, he cried like a little girl. You know, the "ugly cry" (John Travolta is really good at this emasculating cry). He also relieved himself via a tube. Dignity? As the Violent Femmes once said: gone, daddy, gone...

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Some shows should know better

For those of you that watch Grey's Anatomy and are southerners or met people from the south should have been extremely offended by the portrayal of the "hicks" on tonight's episode. If I heard one more "Daaaaaadeeeee" and "Maaaaawmaaaw" from the lips of the "hick" daughter I was going to scream. I must mention that one of my favorite actors was a guest star (the guy that hit the "hick" family) on the episode: John Cho (Harold from Harold and Kumar go to White Castle). Aside from that, the episode gets a thumbs down for stereotypical portrayals.

Movie List

I need suggestions. One of my friends has been seriously movie deprived over the past few years due to various reasons. She likes movies, but her crazy work schedule has made it difficult to watch movies with any kind of consistency. We had a conversation about this not too long ago and I will explain how bad the problem is:

The last movie she saw in the theater was Mystic River
She really enjoyed Chicago (that's the only other recent movie she could remember seeing)

That's it, people. That is all she could give me when I asked what the latest movie she saw. Apparently 2003 was a big year for her. This is what I want from ya'll: give me at least three movie suggestions that you think someone would like. She's pretty girly and a crier, so chick flicks are good and she also has taste so Oscar noms. are good. Anything. My first picks are coming directly from my personal collection:

Harold and Kumar go to White Castle
Under the Tuscan Sun
Gidget (all of them)

I'm compiling a summer "reading" list of sorts for her so I will include all suggestions.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

My Freezer

Is the most honest thing about me. If you really want to get to know me, check out my freezer. My idealized life is in direct conflict with my "real" one. I have nothing to speak of in the refrigerator, but the sub-zero cave above it is another story.

The idealized part:
lean cuisines of all types
all fruit bars with less than 90 calories
frozen veggies
healthy soup I made months ago
single serving chicken breasts

The "real" part:
ice cream (four different kinds - some light, some not - various sizes)
mini-hamburgers - they're gross, but still...
five frozen mugs (for the brew)
fat-filled chicken pot pie

Guess which items are older and have witnessed the comings and goings of other foods...

Friday, May 05, 2006

I knew the moment I woke up

I never should have gotten out of bed. The alarm went off and I felt like I hadn't gotten any sleep. I could barely get out of bed, but Teddy was quite demanding so I took him outside and cursed the fact that I had to go to work. It was also raining. I love laying in bed and listening to it rain and it made me hate going to work even more. Finally, I got my ass in gear and got ready and headed out and got to work early (good for me), but there was some work drama - as there usually is around here. It put me on the defensive, but I am trying to see things from a different perspective and realize that I could, possibly, however unlikely, be in the wrong. Oh well. I want to go home and put my head under the covers and not get out until Sunday. I have always been goal oriented (ummm, right...) so I think I can make this idea come to fruition.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Why not?

As this blog has become a clearinghouse of humiliation for me, I figured I would add to your already colorful picture of my exciting life. Often, I detail my new interests or addictions and read the responses that these confessions elicit. Today is no different. My new addiction?

Super Nintendo. Yep. No, I didn't get in my time machine and travel back to 1991. I just happened to have one laying around my closet and pulled it out for sh*ts and giggles. That was a month ago. I have tried to keep my secret hidden, but I am tired of leading this double life. It is time I admitted I have a problem. I love Super Mario World and I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS. Well, that's not really true, but if I keep saying it to myself maybe I'll believe it. You really can't blame me because there is no cable hook-up in my bedroom, but I have a t.v. in there. I have to do something with the television and this is more practical than drilling holes in walls and running an additional cable line to my bedroom. Plus, I have a touch of insomnia and I'm not supposed to watch television in bed. I don't think playing video games counts.

It's official. I'm a pre-adolescent boy. Could this be rock bottom?


Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Spending Freeze

As paltry as they may be, I have frozen my assets (not literally - just no spending ANY money). I haven't spent anything today or yesterday and I am not planning on spending any money until my next paycheck (the 15th). Part of this is driven by poverty and the other part is that I just don't watch my money very well. I don't get all crazy or anything, but I spend more than I should. I am not buying any food as I have enough in the house to last me a while and I am not going out and buying anything (i.e. drinks or movies, or whatnot). Yay. I guess this will be a good way for me to clean out my shelves and freezer - there's really nothing to speak of in the refrigerator aside from a wide variety of condiments. Maybe I can fill my new found free time being productive. Perhaps cleaning my apartment like I planned when my dad came to visit? Well, let's not get crazy.

Who's with me? Haha, no really, don't do it.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

And they said it wouldn't last

And it didn't. Paris Hilton broke up with her shipping heir boyfriend, Zeus or Amadeus or whatever the hell his name is. Thank God most normal people don't run around slobbering all over their significant others and declaring how they "are, like, soooooo much in love!" Ick. I think more people would go postal if they had to witness such a cluster f*ck of vapidness and self-indulgence.

Until the next shipping heir, farewell, Poseidon (or whatever ye name may be), farewell. You are better off without Paris.

This is just ridiculous

I haven't been in anything resembling a relationship since the 19th century and then I have to read about this:

Woman, 104, takes man, 33, as husband No. 21

Please don't miss the part where he hopes to teach her Roman script - ummm, if I was 104, all I want to do is lay around and have my 33 year-old hubby waiting on me. Only if they had a picture of the happy couple. They're probably planning on adopting.

Monday, May 01, 2006

A Grey's Anatomy Question

Why is it that Izzie's (Katherine Heigl) scrubs are tighter around the boobs than anyone else's? This includes the more generously curved Dr. Bailey. Were they out of another size? Just seems sad that this poor girl has to suffer ill-fitting scrubs while she is trying to save lives.

Are you doing enough?

This is the question I ask myself on a daily basis. I have asked this of myself for years because I never feel like I am doing enough. Let me explain. I am always comparing myself with other people and coming up short. I'm too lazy, too fat, too selfish, too conservative, too liberal, too dumb, too naive, too mean, and on and on and on. Generally, I don't believe these things about myself, but when I am having a lot of self doubt one or more of these thoughts creaps into my mind. I know I'm not the only one who thinks about this stuff, but I always feel like "if people really knew me...they wouldn't like me..." I think the key is living my life and doing what I know is right and good for me and other people. It may not be right for everyone, but I'm too old to keep this sh*t up. I keep waiting to feel more self assured and it is has come much more slowly than I thought it would.

As a wise man once said: "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and dog-gone-it people like me!"

Grrr and double Grrr

I know that some of you don't really get the whole "NASCAR thing," but I was really excited about the race and on the second of three pace laps it started raining. It was cold, windy, and wet, but we tried to stick it out. Finally, the five of us admitted defeat and started the long trek back to the cars. Disappointment doesn't really cover my feelings because going to a race is a big deal. It wears you out and after all of the preparation we didn't even get to see anything. For those of you who are curious, even the NASCAR newbies were getting excited after the cars started their engines (when all 43 cars start their engines it vibrates through the stadium and you can't help but get caught up in the moment). Luckily, I took off Monday and I will be watching the race on t.v. today in about 30 minutes, but it's still not the same. Oh well, at least I get to sit on my couch.