Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Holding the line

I have been inspired by Sarah M. to be open on this blog about a particular aspect of my life. For the past seven months I have been on anti-depressants. Part of this was brought on by the accident, but I was already unhappy before and the accident just brought a lot of it to a head. Some of this might date back to when my mom passed away. I think that my experience with it was pretty traumatic and I was more focused on "how" it happened as opposed to being sad about the fact that she was no longer in my life. School, graduation, my dead end job, and weight gain all led me to the extremely unhappy state I was in several months ago. Now, the meds are holding the line on my depression. I'm not happy, but I am not in that dark place I was before. I have a lot of faith that things will get better and that is what keeps me going to work and accomplishing the things that are expected of me. I have a true desire to be happy and I believe that I will be again. Maybe that's too honest, but I am not ashamed that I had to seek help outside of myself for this and Tom Cruise can kiss my a**. And I mean that in the most respectful way.


crazycatlady said...

I totally understand. I'm struggling with depression/anxiety disorder as well. I just feel totally stressed out, uptight, overwhelmed, etc., and have been on Paxil for about 3 months or so. It was helping at first, but I'm on the max doseage now, and it doesn't help any longer. I'm driving myself crazy with my bitchiness and iritability. I can't imagine being my husband right now. I've got a followup with my doc next week, and hopefully he will switch my meds. What are you taking, if you don't mind me asking?

katie g. said...

20 mg. of generic Paxil. I've thought about upping the dose, but I'm not sure yet.

Anonymous said...

word. tom cruise can kiss mine as well.

Rach C.