Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Happy Halloween from the King

These are pictures of Teddy in his too small Elvis costume I got from Target. They only had a small so the little jumpsuit and "hair" are way too tight, but it just makes it that much more hilarious. The only thing I can compare his behavior to (when he has this lovely outfit on) is when you put a cat on a leash. He just freezes and stares. Cruel? Yes. F*ckin' funny? Hell, yes.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Mainstream cult

Scientology. I watched a 48 Hours Mystery episode about a man in his mid-twenties who stabbed his mother 70+ times. Before he committed this crime he was hearing voices and was experiencing other problems with his mental health. Since Tom Cruise and his other cult members believe that psychiatrists are evil and mental illness doesn't exist he never got any help. WTF? Am I the only person that believes that Tom, John, Kirstie, Leah (Remini) are members of a cult?

Saturday, October 28, 2006

The sign to leave

As it is Halloween time, I have been watching spooky movies and this has brought me to one conclusion...or a personal rule if you will. First, let me set the scene: you know that part in a ghost movie where one of the characters is in the bathroom and bends down to wash their face or opens the medicine cabinet to grab something and when they look in the mirror next the face of a scary ghost is staring back at them? Well, if this ever happened to me, I would grab my sh*t and get the f*ck out! I would not look for the ghost, I would not go to the local library and study why the ghost is in my house, I would not consult the local town folk and debate what to do. I would be a former resident of that town and finding myself a new home. That's just me.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

I want Footy P.J.'s

Little kids get the best clothes. I'm not talking about the starchy linen dresses or short pants, but the comfy onesies. I think some footy pajamas to wear around my house would be AWESOME. Do you know that it is quite difficult to find these kinds of pajamas for adults? I have looked all over the web and found a few pairs, but nothing that really grabs me. Anybody have any suggestions on places to look?

P.S. It's okay, I know I'm weird.

Monday, October 23, 2006

I'm a sick individual

Ever since I bought my tivo, I have become a very impatient t.v. watcher. I want to fast forward through everything and get to the good stuff. I went home to Nashville and was tivo-less for around 48 hours. I'm not going to lie, it was tough. In my desperation I turned to Marie Osmond. Yes. Marie. Osmond. She is a regular on QVC (which has no commercials) and she promotes her line of porcelain dolls. Creepy, yet fascinating, porcelain dolls. Their vacant stares accompanied by Marie's hokey descriptions of how dolls make everything better is quite entertaining. I probably watched over two hours of this lovely programming and I am ashamed, but also going through a bit of withdrawal right now.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Colin Michael

I arrived in Nashville about twenty minutes after he was born. I have never been that close to a newborn baby before and it was definitely awe inspiring and intimidating. I wouldn't hold him while I was standing because I was afraid I would drop him and break him. He is soooooo tiny! He didn't cry very much but he would just look around the room and just seemed to be taking it all in. Isabella (his big sister) took everything in stride, but you can tell she is going to get tired of all this fuss pretty soon. I know it has to be confusing to her because she has been the most important person in her family for the last four and half years and this new little person is moving into her house and he isn't leaving, ever. She'll adjust, but it's going to be hard. On a side note, I did go watch her soccer game on Saturday morning and I loved seeing all the little girls follow that ball all over the field willy-nilly. They call it herd ball for a reason.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

The case for drinking.

Well, I don't need to make one. Just kidding. I thought the title would lure you in...heehee.

I am heading to Nashville this weekend because one of my closest friends (the one who left a comment on the previous post about me trying to steal her four-year-old daughter's pink chair - I'm all class) is having her second baby! I will be the godmother to this baby as well (I am also Isabella's godmother) and I plan on lavishing attention on this baby, too. I bitch and moan about some kids, but I really love that little girl and I am sure that I will feel the same about her little brother. As I have told Ashley time and again, no matter how uncool her children will come to believe she is, they will ALWAYS think their Aunt Katie is cool. It's better than having your own kids! Let me know if anybody else needs a godmother.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Ahh, the joy of children

I am around children all day. No, I don't have any of my own, but my job requires that I am in their presence constantly. Don't get me wrong, I like kids, but some of them are...um...less adorable. It seems if you get two or three together of similar age they conspire and launch upon some unsuspecting person or object and tear it apart or torture it into submission. I think the thing that gets me are the parents that seem to pay no attention to this behavior or they have become so exhausted that they don't care what kind of disasters their children leave in their wake. I understand that kids are inquisitive and curious, but I am talking about the actual breaking of things and destruction of expensive property. If I happen to look less than pleased (without actually saying anything - as I believe it is a parent's place and responsibility to discipline their own children) they give me all sorts of "eat-shit-and-die" looks. I feel like going to their house and tearing up their things and leaving them to clean it up. It's kind of like when my dad threatened to come over to my house and leave all the lights on "so I would know what it feels like" and "learn that money doesn't grow on trees."

Monday, October 16, 2006


I have been reading Beverly Cleary's Ramona books. I used to love these books when I was growing up and I decided to read some of them again to revisit some great children's literature. Some books intended for children are not that interesting to adults, but this is not the case for these books. Ramona alway reminded me of myself when I was growing up. She always got into a lot of trouble and had no idea how it happened. I would do something bad and feel instant remorse and my parents would be angry and frustrated at me. During the course of my childhood I cost my parents a crap load of money due to my curiosity and destructiveness. The amount of money easily crossed into the thousands. A quick list of the things my parents had to pay to replace are as follows: a bathroom sink, carpeting for my room and the hall, two doors, an entire make-up kit and perfume, numerous brackets for braces, several home visits for plumbers to unclog the toilet after I flushed lincoln logs and clothing down it, and a variety of toys that I dismembered, crushed, or ruined by leaving them outside. Yes, my parents are currently awaiting confirmation on their respective sainhood.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Honesty and your parents

Due to several conversations I have had this week I am inspired to ask the question: how honest are you with your parents? If I was to give a percentage I would say that I am 85% honest or upfront with my dad. I don't talk about everything with him, but I do include him in most of what is going on in my life. It has come to my attention that there are many people that lie to their parents ALL THE TIME or they keep major parts of their life hidden from them. I am talking about ADULTS. People who can join the armed services, vote for president, drink legally and they still lie to their mommy and daddy about having a few beers. I don't get this. What are they afraid of? It seems sad to me that they feel they have to hide their true selves. Aren't parents supposed to love you despite your shortcomings?

Percentage-wise, how honest are you?

P.S. I do have to say that there are some people that are TOO honest with their parents. They tell them everything and I mean everything. One of the best things my mom told me was that she wanted me to feel like I could talk to her about important things, but she didn't want to know everything. That was what my friends were for. She always told me that she didn't want to be my friend (and I don't mean that in a bad way), but my mom.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Okay, so...

First event not so much a success. The way I figure it, this just sets the bar really low and my next event will seem like a success. Um, yeah, so that's what I'm telling myself. It's okay, I had some comfort from friends and I feel alright about it. I will just have to learn from this and do things differently. Unfortunately my target demographic is a bit hard to reach and I will have to be extremely creative. Hmmm. Something to aim for.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

I'm going to take a trip...

I have decided that I'm not getting any younger (part of this realization comes from the fact that my loving friends keep reminding me) and I need to take a trip. I want to go to Memphis and visit Graceland. I can't be a fan of Elvis and never visit his hallowed home. I'm not sure when I am taking this trip, but I have the itinerary slightly planned out. I will arrive at Graceland and spend many hours enjoying the abode of The King. After my time at Graceland I am going to move on to Tunica, MS and gamble (and probably have a few adult beverages). Ahhh, Elvis, gambling, and drinking. What more do you want?

Day off

I love my job. I got vacation hours for my birthday (I know, isn't that cool!) and decided to take the day off today. I have slept an awful lot and caught up on my weekend episodes of Beverly Hills, 90210. I am making hashbrown casserole settling in for more television watching. I have an event I planned for the library tomorrow night and I am VERY worried about how it will turn out. I am sure I will let everyone know what happens, so keep me in your thoughts.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Ahhh! The relief!

I slept a little lighter last night after the news of Paris and Nicole's reconciliation. It has been a long 21 months (the feud dates back to early 2005) and I, for one, and so happy that this couple has finally managed to make things work. Join me in a prayer of thanks, people.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

I'm not dumb so quit treating me like I am.

I am watching the first three episodes of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip and I am struck by the thought that these people think all t.v. watchers are stupid. I will let you know that I am a Nielson rating's dream. I watch t.v., I am more than passably intelligent, and I keep up with current events. I hate watching a show that talks about "red states" and "blue states" and "Christians" and "others." Blah, blah, blah. Here's how it is: I live in a red state, I probably swing more like the blue states. I am a Christian, but I don't talk about it incessantly because I believe that spirituality is a highly personal thing. Also, if I hear one more southern joke I will delete this show permanently from my Tivo Season Pass. You want to be cutting edge? Fine, then don't assume things about people you don't know and a place you have never lived.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Wouldn't it be nice if

We actually did what we said we were going to do? I am talking about when people get together and say "we should get together for lunch." Everyone always says "definitely, I'll call you." I guess it's better than "Hell no! I'd rather have a root canal." Why do we do this? Is it because we don't want to hurt people's feelings? That we really intend on going, but it slips our mind? You don't actually want to be the one that puts themselves out there? Hmmm. I do the same thing, I guess I'm just curious to hear what you think.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Good sign

Today I had my first foray in library programming and it was a success. I was very nervous that no one would show up or something would go wrong, but this didn't happen. We had a good turn out and several of the people thanked me afterward. Cue the sigh of relief. My next programming adventure will be next Thursday and there is more pressure because I have done all of the programming and it will be off-site. All of this planning makes me feel like I am good at something that matters. Another thing that has been an unexpected result of my new job is my ability to stretch my creative muscles. I never really thought I would be someone who could come up with "cute" ideas. Generally, I am not into "cute" and I tend to mock anything that resembles adorable. I guess things change. For the better.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Dueling Topics

I have two things to talk about today:

1. The Keg Party - Several people have commented that I haven't said anything about the party, so I thought I would fill ya'll in. I had a good time. It feels good to know that your friends like you enough to gather around you and drink to celebrate the occasion of your birth. Seriously, it does make me happy that people want to be with me on my birthday. Yes, I did my first, second, and last keg stands that night and plan on NEVER doing it again. It was an experience and I will leave it at that. All of the birthday wishes I received were appreciated and I love all of my friends. And just for the record- no, I didn't have an actual 18 yr old rub all over me. My love life is still like the Sahara Desert. Make your own analogies.

2. The House of Carters: Bad reality television=Katie sitting on her house soaking it in. I can't help myself. I love to watch celebrities making asses of themselves. Most favorite quote yet? from Aaron Carter himself (of Aaron's Party - the album - fame, and the boy that romanced not only Hilary Duff, but Lindsay Lohan and created the feud that rocked the 'tween' world): "my heart's so big (in reference to what a good person he is) I can feel it beating out of my chest." I think the reason he can feel it beating out of his chest is because he is high on crystal meth. Good stuff - you should tune in.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Yup, yup - TMI

The following is going to be a rant/tmi post. Here ya go:

I watch a fair amount of television, right? Well, I have noticed the number of hot men gracing the airwaves of late and it is just a little frustrating. There they go, prancing half naked across my screen and what do I get to lock my gaze on at home? A smelly (but sweet) schnauzer. I am in the worst shape of my life - slugs have more muscle tone than I do. And the last eligible bachelor I met was so long ago it was probably while I was mastering the art of cursive in third grade. The likelihood of my going on a date with someone that I didn't troll around and find on the internet (not just yet) is approximately the same chance that George W. Bush has of marching in a gay pride rally. yup.