Monday, September 26, 2005

Top Ten Things I Would Like to See Disappear from the Face of the Earth

(In no particular order - feel free to add your own)

1. The Pussycat Dolls and their song "Don't 'Cha."
- For obvious reasons these women need to vaporize. I also believe the song should be revamped to say "Don't 'cha wish your girlfriend was a slut like me."
2. Vin Diesel
- His truly terrible acting is taking quite a toll on this country. I am also pretty sure he is the reason that natural disasters and pestilence seem to be plaguing this world.
3. Size 0
- It just doesn't make any sense. By being a size zero it implies that the person wearing such a garment fails to exist.
4. Hummers
- It seems to be some sort of attempt for someone (I tend to think male) to prove how big their penis is. It's not working. Why exactly does one need a vehicle that the Army uses in warfare and for extremely rough terrain. The roughest place these people are taking their Penis Replacement is the Bass Pro Shop.
5. 24-hour News Networks
- All they do is make people obsess about bad sh*t even though life is bad enough. See my previous post as an example of my disdain.
6. Construction Zones where there is no construction
- No real need to explain this. It is absolutely infuriating. There is nothing wrong with the lane so why is the speed limit 13 mph?
7. France/the French
- I have never been a big fan. Historically (18th-21st centuries respectively) they are a wash out. Whiney. Sore Losers. Troublemakers. Snobby. And they definitely suffer from a major case of amnesia (WWII and Vietnam, anyone?). Plus, there food isn't all that good.
8. Pippies (thanks Katy C. - this has become a catchphrase)
- Patchouli, earth tones, mindless protest, etc. I am not against protest, per se, but you have to stand for something that means something. Standing on a street corner with a sign that says "Peace" means nothing. Peace where? when? why? Specify please.
9. Delivery Charges
- I am buying something from you and you dare charge me for the experience. Not gonna happen. From now on I say we all refrain from paying people to take even more of our money. WTF.
10. People who are on the extreme left or right of the political spectrum
- If they only knew how alike they really are...

9 comments:

Belle of Madison said...

Your #10 kind of reminded me of what I was reading in Assassination Vacation today. (Yes, it's taking me forever to read it because I don't have much time to read, what with all the TV I watch!) About how we all want pretty much the same things, but we focus on our minor differences to hate the other party.

I don't have anything to add to the list right now but I may be back.

Lee said...

What are pussycat dolls?

katie g. said...

Difficult question to answer. First, they were a scantily clad burlesque show and now they have a hit song (the lead singer is not actually a part of the dance group as they don't have that kind of talent - theirs is more the ass shaking kind). The chorus goes a little something like this "Don't 'cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me..." It is (so far) the worst song ever. Ever.

BabyMakes3 said...

The pussycat dolls are just shameful. When they go, they can take the Black Eyed Peas new song, my lumps (?), with them. Nobody ever should be subjected to the words of that song. Especially not my 12 year old niece.

Susie said...

11) Shelby County drivers...I may start a riot with that, but I have had one too many bad experiences. I always hold my breath when I see a 58 tag.

Matt P said...

True story: Over Christmas, my stepfather and I made a beer run and a Hummer pulled up at the gas station at the same time as we. Inside the store, I noticed the guy who'd been driving and saw, when he turned around, that he had a pistol pushed down the back of his pants.

I suspect his penis must be of negative length.

BabyMakes3 said...

susie, as i former 58 driver, i resent that comment. actually, i find most of birmingham traffic to be a scary thing.

Susie said...

sorry! but i have had too many bad experiences. birmingham traffic, in general, is really scary. but, i find the tampa drivers to be the worst.

Peyton said...

Number 8 says it all... we had a pippy in the office the other day, except he was applying a morphed version of patchouli- it was so much worse... it smelled like feet.