Saturday, September 24, 2005

Don't Pretend You Don't Love It

I have been watching CNN nonstop. For some reason I find their coverage of Hurricane Rita very interesting. The one thing that drives me nuts about all of the 24 hour news agencies is their incessant description of "worst case scenarios" and describing the results of the past few hurricanes as "The Wrath of (fill in your hurricane name here)". The title of the post refers to the fact that these reporters thrive on situations like these. They love it! Let me provide you with an example:
(sample, fictional, transcript of an "on the spot" reporter's view of the inclement weather):

Aaron Brown: Anderson? Are you still with us?
Anderson Cooper: Yes, Aaron I'm here (bracing himself in the wind, sometimes with his right hand over his ear)
**The following is what I imagine reporters would say if they weren't constrained by human decency and the FCC**
AB: The rain sure is coming down where you are
AC: No sh*t, Sherlock. Didn't you just see that sheet metal hit me upside the f*cking head?!
AB: Describe the conditions to the audience if you can

AC: Well, considering you are in a warm studio, basically the opposite of what you are experiencing. You have to wonder who would stay behind in this weather (aside from money grubbing CNN "journalists"). Right now we are feeling gusts of approximately 300+ mph. Might as well be in a wind tunnel. I am a dumbass for being in this kind of motherf*cking storm.
AB: I know, I wouldn't be caught dead in this storm. Which executive's wife did you screw to get this sh*tty detail?
AC: I'm not sure, but someone wants me dead.
AB: Farewell, Anderson, Farewell.

--Just my imagination. I would pay money to see this actually happen on t.v.


Peyton said...

You know they have to be thinking exactly those words... You have to be pretty freakin' stupid to go stand in the middle of a hurricane. I always expect to see something terrible happen to those reporters... I think that is why I watch... just in case.

Susie said...
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Anonymous said...

I'm just a visitor (I'm friends with Lindsey and clicked on your page). You are hilarious! I love your top ten things to disappear post too!