People, let me tell you about my best friend...

So the trouble with the title of this blog is that I don't have one. Now that is not to say that don't have really good friends, but they all have someone else. For the last year or so I have been feeling quite lonely. It is what finally encouraged me to do the whole online dating thing and just generally bitch about my state of affairs - or lack there of. Tonight I was walking Teddy and just pondering the whole subject and I realized that I have always had a best friend. Someone that I spent quite a lot of time with and we just hung out all the time. This gets to the tricky part of this post. I am not going to name names, but if you think part of this post is about you you're probably right. So, to begin, let's trace the trajectory of my bfs over the last three decades. I had one main bestie from early childhood to high school. There were other people who I was very close to at the time as well, but one person in particular. Off to college - freshman year I had a new bestie, sophomore and junior year I had another, senior year up to about a year or two ago I had another bff. Now, everyone has moved on to better, more fulfilling things and I am still here. It makes me sad. I don't know how to go from here. Oh I still have some great people in my life, but the circle keeps shrinking and it feels like I'm truly going to be alone. I can't tell you how depressing that is. I just don't know what to do. I wish I could go back in time and prepare my 15, or 20, or 25 year old self for this because it sucks. I always feared being alone and I guess that was a self-fulfilling prophecy, huh? Ain't it a bitch.

It was a good week

As I am a superstitious person (when it comes to acknowledging good things) I am a bit hesitant to admit that I had a great week. As you know, I had my "snow day" on Monday, went to work on Tuesday, went to a conference on Wednesday and Thursday and then went to work Friday. All in all, it was an easy week and I know that next week will be harder, but it was nice to just a have a week to coast.

Currently, I am reading The Friday Night Knitting Club by Kate Jacobs for my book club. I'm a little over halfway through the book and I think it's my favorite so far. I would recommend it to the ladies out there.

I've been giving more thought to the writing idea and I think I might pursue the idea of writing about working in a library. I think I will use some of my own experiences and expand on it from there. No worries, I don't plan on "dooce-ing" myself.

So that's it in a nutshell.

Musings

There's not much I have in mind tonight, but I thought I should post a little something. I can't believe I didn't mention that it snowed down here a few weeks ago. That is only the SECOND time that it has snowed since I have lived in Birmingham - in ten years! It was pretty exciting. Yes, it melted really quickly, but we just don't get any sort of wintery precipitation. I know you Wisconsinites are rolling your eyes, but you know how it is. Someone new is starting at work tomorrow so it should keep the day pretty busy. I have a new neighbor upstairs and he seems fine. We'll see. The jury remains out until he lives here a little longer. I have a notoriously bad time with loud neighbors ~ apartment living is truly for the birds. Boring, boring, boring. That's all, folks.

Should have stayed in bed

A change is a comin.'

Monday was one of those days where all things that could go wrong did go wrong. Am I going to rehash it for you folks? Nope. I'm moving past that.

Christmas is a week from today. I am promising myself not to get caught up in the same ol' b.s. at home. I am going to do what I want when I want and ignore the bah-humbug mumblings of Kenny G. He will not steal the Christmas spirit. Even if I have to lock him in a closet and throw away the key.

Happy Holidays!

Sometimes

I just wish I could take some people's pain away. I know I'm not the only one, I also know that I have often felt much worse than I feel right now and prayed for relief. I wish I could tell someone that it's okay. That it's just not worth it. To hang in there. It really will get better. I wish I had a magic spell that could make all the problems go away and turn back time.

i wish.

The Knot. In the Pit. Of my Stomach.

I get this all the time. Something major or minor might go wrong and I will get this icky feeling in my stomach and I will worry over something for hours...and then it usually goes away. I've got that right now. Same ol' bs really, but it still makes enjoying my well earned weekend difficult. It's the Catholic in me, I believe. All that guilt the nuns instilled in me during my formative years. Strangely enough, I suffer from much more guilt now than I ever did when I was a child. I was terrible and without remorse. Now, I tend to agonize over something until it drives me bonkers. ugh. Happy Weekend...

P.S. I finished reading the 6th Harry Potter last night (just in time for the new one). I cried and I'm not sure I'm ready to read the last one. Anyone reading HP? No spoilers, please :)

Right side up

In explanation of the title, I felt like my ship was off-kilter, but I have found my bearings. Some people are sh*tty and conniving and manipulative and generally so two-faced that there is nothing that other people will be able to do to change their ideas or opinions. It's all good, people. I gotta quit worrying about the things I can't control and just try to do what I know is best for me. Two wrongs don't make a right...it's cliche, but true.

Onto another topic...did you know that a porcupine baby is super cute and will come to you like a dog if you call its name? Me neither! I met a very cute baby porcupine named Dorie today and if they wouldn't cause me severe and lasting pain I would have one as a pet. Oh well.

I will continue the shower/bachelorette party story on Wed.

For now I will link you to this, but I think it explains my current mood.
www.youarehere1.blogspot.com/2006/04/2-years.html

see you Wednesday.

(cut and paste if it isn't a hyperlink.

Hey Kids! I'm back...for now...

I know, I know, its been forever...Still no computer (right now I am using the computer at my roomies parent's house). Things are going okay for me, nothing really big right now. The same can't be said for the rest of the world, eh? I can't believe I missed my chance to blog about Anna Nicole's untimely passing and the media circus and the fun new game show "Who's My Daddy." And what about Britney's breakdown and subsequent AWESOME haircut? Talk about minimalist... Also her revolving entrance and exit to rehab. She and Lindsay Lohan make rehab look like a quick mart. Come when you want, leave when you want, and get out after a couple of days - POOF! Your healed! It is not a good sign when Kevin Federline starts coming off as the "rational" one. Could the apocalypse truly be upon us? I have really missed blogging so I will try and set aside some time at lunch every couple of days and blog from a public access computer (I work in a library so you think I would avail myself of one of our services). Talk to you soon!