Tuesday, May 05, 2009

People, let me tell you about my best friend...

So the trouble with the title of this blog is that I don't have one. Now that is not to say that don't have really good friends, but they all have someone else. For the last year or so I have been feeling quite lonely. It is what finally encouraged me to do the whole online dating thing and just generally bitch about my state of affairs - or lack there of. Tonight I was walking Teddy and just pondering the whole subject and I realized that I have always had a best friend. Someone that I spent quite a lot of time with and we just hung out all the time. This gets to the tricky part of this post. I am not going to name names, but if you think part of this post is about you you're probably right. So, to begin, let's trace the trajectory of my bfs over the last three decades. I had one main bestie from early childhood to high school. There were other people who I was very close to at the time as well, but one person in particular. Off to college - freshman year I had a new bestie, sophomore and junior year I had another, senior year up to about a year or two ago I had another bff. Now, everyone has moved on to better, more fulfilling things and I am still here. It makes me sad. I don't know how to go from here. Oh I still have some great people in my life, but the circle keeps shrinking and it feels like I'm truly going to be alone. I can't tell you how depressing that is. I just don't know what to do. I wish I could go back in time and prepare my 15, or 20, or 25 year old self for this because it sucks. I always feared being alone and I guess that was a self-fulfilling prophecy, huh? Ain't it a bitch.

3 comments:

K8E said...

The downside of friends getting married or into a committed relationship. Their priorities change :o\

Susie said...

Girl, I am right there with you.

PrincessGreen17 said...

I don't have one particular best friend, either. I know what you mean.