It's tomorrow!

My big day (night) at work is tomorrow and I am pretty nervous. I have truly given up on a decent night's sleep and have surrendered to the fact that I am just too keyed up to relax. Wish me luck!

The compliment every girl waits to hear

At the grocery store the clerk asked me to show i.d. for my adult beverage purchase. The following is our charming exchange:

Store Clerk: May I see your license?
Me: Sure
SC: (upon inspecting said identification) Wow, you must be doing something right!
Me: Well, thank you (in that ducking-the-head kind of bashfulness)
SC: (after looking at license again) You don't look THAT old!

Really? THAT old? How old is that? I am 28. He acts like I just got out of my crypt and dragged myself over to the f*cking Winn-Dixie for a draught of ale. Damn. What a terrible way to end a compliment.

I don't often do this...

I try to avoid discussing politics because I have complicated feelings about a variety of issues that face us everyday. Today, after pondering the meaning of Memorial Day (which is tomorrow) I just have to be clear about a couple of things.

I believe that any person who has already, is currently, or will in the future serve in Iraq or another area that the government has deemed a threat should be profusely thanked. I would not want to go and I don't have the courage.

With that said, I do not support this war. I believe that we are only alienating more people and we are in a quagmire. Although 'quagmire' is a word that was often associated with Vietnam, I believe it is an apt description here. I am not one of those uneducated people that draws parallels between the conflict without any basis. My years studying Vietnam while in graduate school have given me enough insight to believe that there are similarities. No, they are not the same conflict, but I believe that the end will be the same:

We will continue to fight this fight because our leaders tell us we will 'win' and that 'failure is not an option,' but we will eventually withdraw from Iraq without a true conclusion. Perhaps we will leave this war to the Iraqis to fight and after they are not propped up by American troops, the country will fall into mass chaos with the Sunnis and Shi'tes scrabbling to gain the most power or some other far more extreme fringe group will seize control. We have aided in destroying much of the infrastructure of Iraq and it will take decades to rebuild. The resentment and negative public opinion felt towards the United States may be irreparable.

I won't mention this topic again. I just felt that I had to express my feelings. You may not agree with me (my father, brother and many other people don't), but I think it is important to have thoughtful discussions about the hard topics.


Happy Memorial Day and thanks to all of our armed forces here and abroad.

Just a note

Do not rent, buy or even acknowledge the presence of the movie Because I Said So. It is a truly terrible movie of epic proportions. You're welcome.

I've gone legit (also included - observations from the day)

My tags expired in February. I just put the new ones on today. It will be nice not having to look out for cops while driving. I have to admit having expired tags has made me a better driver.

I was driving behind a man today who deliberately ran over a squirrel. It was a startling act of cruelty.

I was on perezhilton.com and he had a clip from the Lisa 'left eye' Lopes's documentary, which includes the very moments before her death (I mean seconds). Someone is filming in the car and the video stops as the car is swerving. It is a strange feeling to seeing the moments before a person's death.

Work is going well and I believe that Summer Reading may not kill me after all. Maybe

Harder than I thought

I went home this weekend and saw Murphy for the first time in two months. I would not have imagined that such a short amount of time could produce such startlingly drastic changes. Murphy is much thinner and just quietly wanders around the house. He doesn't run to the door and bark anymore (which was one of his favorite activities). I remember all of the times that I yelled at him to shut up and now I just wish he would show some of his old spark. Getting old and sick is so sad. I just cried and cried after I picked him up and snuggled him. I don't think he will be around for the next time I am home (which is for my brother's wedding in four weeks). I'm going to take some pictures and post them online. He's not just a dog to me.

To Sleep...perchance to not feel like crap

I have always had trouble getting to sleep. I am not one of those people that just hits the pillow and is off to dream land. I lay in the bed, night after night, for an interminable amount of time. Most everyone I know just pleasantly drifts off, but not me. I think about the things that happened during the day and I worry about stuff that is coming up at work. It doesn't really matter, I can always come up with something to fret about. I alternate between four hours of sleep and 10 hours. I'll have several bad nights and then crash on some of the other days. I need to figure out how to get a restful night - every night. I'll take suggestions...

Time marches on...

Several months ago I posted about my Dad's dog, Murphy and his diagnosis of cancer. At first, it was easy to put it out of my mind and pretend that nothing was wrong with him. Unfortunately, my brother called on Saturday and told me that Murphy is blind. The vet says that the cancer has spread enough that it is compromising his optic nerve. It is undeniable proof that the cancer is moving rapidly. This poor, sweet, dog has lost his vision and I can't imagine how distressing it must be to him. No one can explain what is going on to him and I just want to hug him and carry him around the house so he doesn't have to be afraid. Dad says he stays really close to him in the bed - probably because he is unsure about where the edges are. He has also been bumping around the house trying to find his way. I am heading home this weekend and I know it will be quite upsetting. I don't think I am really ready to let go of the last tangible connection to my mom.

oh no

I am posting it here:

I put a profile up on Match.com (thanks for the encouragement, Sarah M.). I am putting it here so that I can't pretend I didn't do it. I will let you know what I find out. I tried to be really honest, so I imagine my matches will be...limited...

Heard tonight

I feel like a winner...

Tonight, I drove through an ice cream place close to my apartment after dinner. Jenny was in the car with me and the lovely guy at the window remarked that there must be a lot of girls breaking up with their boyfriends. He then went on to philosophically note that "like twenty females have gotten ice cream tonight. On a Friday night. Did your boyfriend break up with you?"

um. No. Thanks for asking.

pity party

I'm not feeling too popular these days. I am a self-admitted homebody, but I do like to go out and hang with friends. Lately, I feel like I'm just not too much fun anymore. I mean, I guess that's the truth as people don't seem to want to ask me to do stuff. I guess I better get to like being a homebody even more.

My Biggest Pet Peeve

Number 1. Nothing tops it.

Drunk Driving. Particularly Celebrity Drunk Driving. These people get their asses hauled all over Hollywood, but can't seem to find a driver when they're inebriated.

Lane Garrison (drunk and high - killed a high school student)
Ty Pennington
Paris Hilton
Nicole Richie (high on Lortabs and Pot)
Eve
Michelle Rodriquez
Tracy Morgan
Rip Torn (there is also a ridiculous video of his arrest on YouTube)
Mike Tyson (high on coke)
Jessica Smith (desperate chick on Laguna Beach)
Mel Gibson
David Hasselhoff (I know this comes as a shock after that crazy video)
Vivica A. Fox
Al Unser Jr. (indy driver)
A.J. Foyt (indy driver)
Gary Chapman (Christian singer)
Trey Anastasio (Phish)
Ray Liotta
Nick Carter
Gus Van Sant
George Michael
Haley Joel Osment
Taboo (Black Eyed Peas)
Brian Bonsall (little kid on Family Ties)
Cynthia Watros (Lost)
Tracey Gold
Zachery Ty Bryan (Home Improvement)
Glen Campbell
Wynonna Judd
Billie Joe Armstrong
Nick Nolte
Kim Delaney
Natasha Lyonne
Shannen Doherty
Andy Dick (drugs)
Jason Priestley


To name a few.

8/8/02

This was the date that Claire and I made a list of what we wanted to accomplish by the time we were 30. I am 28 and it has been almost 5 years since this list. There were fifteen items that I wanted to do. As of today, I have only managed to complete 7 of these goals. Some of them I am quite proud of, such as: having my Master's in History (I did not know that I was going to get a Master's in Library Science - so maybe I should count that as two?), having a job, and being close to my godchild. Unfortunately, I have failed to maintain my weight, have a significant relationship, and exercise three times a week (which is tied with maintaining my weight). I think I should set out on a new path to try and accomplish some of these goals.

I encourage everyone to make a list like this. It has been an interesting piece of paper to check periodically. You might want to set a different age goal, but I think it's something that I am glad I did.

The magic of photography???

Over the past several weeks I have had the 'pleasure' of seeing lots of pictures of myself. Yeah. Well, I could have lived for many more years without seeing this stuff. I love looking at pictures. Just not with me in them. It's really a Catch-22 because I want to be in the pictures, but just looking different. I generally try to avoid cameras at all costs. ALL COSTS. I haven't been happy with how I look in years. All these photos just help bring that home. Sadly enough...I just don't seem to want to do anything about it. Sh*t.

A Question of Loyalty and Elvis

Two topics today, folks.

First: I like to think of myself as a loyal person. One that feels the hurt of other people and tries to support them when they've been wronged. How far does this go? This week, I've offered to never go back to one of my favorite restaurants. That's a big deal for me, but it is still a matter of being loyal. If I think there is a legitimate reason for how a friend feels about a certain person, place, or thing...I try to support them. Just a note.

Second: I am finishing up the second volume of an Elvis biography that I have been working on reading for the last several months. The total page count is a little under 1200 pages, but I am a fan and I want to know as much about The King as possible. It's a great read, but a little disillusioning. The author, Peter Guralnick, really explores EVERY aspect of his life and a lot of it is quite depressing. I knew he was a philanderer and super strung out on drugs, but it was much worse. And so very sad. I think I'm a little obsessed as this is my fifth Elvis bio in the last four months...and I have another one waiting in the wings. I will totally kick ass at my Elvis trivia game that I own and intend on making people play.

Movie Review/Inappropriate Crush

I went to see Disturbia (http://www.disturbia.com) and it was an awesome movie. Definitely a thriller and parts of it were pretty scary. I give it a pretty big thumbs up! On another note, Shia LeBeoff is a hottie! I don't usually go for the young'uns, but I have decided to make an exception. He looked quite cute in the movie and several recent pictures of him have not disappointed. I am providing a picture so you can enjoy him as much as I do!

A monumentally bad way to wake up on a Friday morning

I was innocently laying in my bed around 7:10 am (asleep) when I was so rudely awakened by the hippies playing guitar upstairs. Listen, people. I have been extremely patient with them as of yet. Their late night games of four square (yes, you heard me right), the constant sounds of stampeding elephants when they go up and down the stairs (it's not just me, Sara thinks they're loud too), burning incense on the back porch and letting it drop down to my porch...the list goes on. But when you disturb my sleep on a Friday morning, there is just not much else that will make me more mad. In addition to this lovely way of getting up, I had to spend the next 20 minutes taking my own picture. I have to submit a picture to the paper for some feature and had to have it in by 10 and Sara is at work so she couldn't take my picture. Do you know what is more attractive than me, in the morning, on maybe four hours of sleep? The correct answer would be ANYTHING OR ANYBODY). After choosing the least rough/scary looking picture I went ahead and sent it. Now I am sitting on my couch blogging while I hear ominous rumblings from Teddy's stomach. This either means he is hungry or he is having some sort of intestinal distress. Dear Lord, let it be hunger pains.

A Teddy Story

I saw Belle of Madison's pictures of her cat and it inspired me to tell you a recent Teddy story...

It was a couple of weeks ago (the same day I got my car stuck in the mud) and Sara was watching Teddy while I was out of town. Sara was working late and she asked a couple of mutual friends to come over and take the little prince for a walk. They walked him and played with him and he was fine. By the time Sara got home (in the middle of the night) Teddy had made an unfortunate discovery. For several months there has been a tin of mints on one of the side tables in the den. I'm not sure what possessed him, but Teddy finally pulled them off the table and consumed the majority of them. Not all that funny of a story, huh? Well, did I mention that the mints were in the shape of little penises (is that how you make that word plural)? They were a left over decoration from a bachelorette party and when Sara got home there were penis mints on the floor and Teddy was acting strange. Sara called the vet and told them that the dog had eaten "some" sugar free mints and was a little off. Apparently, whatever makes them sugar free makes dogs drunk and that was why he was acting weird (and he had to pee a lot). So my dog got wasted on a bunch of penis. He's had more action than I've had in a very long time....Don't worry, I am supporting his new lifestyle choice. This is an open and loving home. Even for gay dogs.

Do believe in you like they believe in you?

It seems to me that people generally have more faith in my abilities than I do. From what I can tell this is not all that unusual with regard to other people. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a f*ck-up. I try hard most of the time, but get nervous about what is expected of me, particularly at work. I am gearing up for the biggest events of the year and the success or failure will reflect on me. It goes well, I get accolades...or...it bombs, I am in serious trouble. This is on my mind EVERY DAY. Every day for months. I guess I just need to express my insecurity. Okay, that's enough for now.

This is driving me crazy!

My lower right eyelid has been twitching on and off for close to 24 hours. I was a little self conscious about it at work yesterday and kept thinking people could see it when I was talking to them. It is also just really annoying and I keep wondering when this sh*t is going to stop. AAAAHHHH!!

Have you ever wondered

Why in every couple picture is the guy is on the left and the girl on the right? This is a thoroughly researched phenomenon. I looked all over myspace and saw this combination overwhelmingly....

I was stuck in a rut this weekend

Literally. I got stuck in the mud. At Jenny's parents' house. It took her dad, her little sister's boyfriend, and the next door neighbor to get my damn car out of the mud. I am a dumbass. If you looked at my car right now, it would look like I am a redneck who likes to go mudding. In a Honda Civic. All the guys were great to me and it reminded of one of the best things about being in a small Southern town. They were covered in mud and I didn't have speck on me. I thought my penance should be admitting it on blogger.

It isn't true.

I got an email that was similar to what I am about to print, but I think some of us need a reminder.

No one in Nigeria, Iraq, North Korea, or other places around the world are going to give you money if you just send them a couple of grand to get the money out. There is no store of money with your name on it after helping such an honest person. This is a scam. Do not open these emails. Just delete

Bill Gates is not going to give you $249.56 for forwarding an email. If he was he wouldn't be a BILLIONAIRE. Unless you are applying to the Gates Foundation you will never see a penny of his money

You will not experience an ever increasing amount of bad luck if you don't forward a poem or chain email to people. Don't send me this sh*t or I will bring you some bad luck...

Basically, if there is some email, letter, phone call, or any other sort of communication that threatens you, promises you lots of money, or tries to get you to bother other people, then it's not true.

Okay, I feel better.

Television comes and goes...

But in the past few weeks, this is what I have added to the roster:

Tori and Dean: Inn Love
Sons of Hollywood- These two shows give me my Spelling fix. I love reality shows...that's not new, but these two give you a unique experience of watching a story from two different sides at practically the same time (you know, the whole Tori out of the will, Randy on his mom's side - drama ensues thing...).

Intervention-This one isn't new. I have enjoyed watching all about these people struggling with addiction and their crazy families and the f-up things they do.

CBS Monday Nights
How I Met Your Mother
The Class
Two and a Half Men
The New Adventures of Old Christine
- I have discussed a couple of these before...I think. I love HIMYM because these people are pretty close to my age and Barney is HI-larious...'High Five'
- The Class is one of those shows that SUCKED when it first came on, but after dedication it turned out to be one pretty good program. The storylines came together, some of the characters are hot...John Ritter's son is pretty cute, and the cliffhanger endings to each episode keep me coming back.

Just felt you needed a wrap-up to my viewing habits. Has something new caught your eye?

Larry Birkhead

So, he's the daddy. Discuss.

Have you...

Seen the latest post on www.dooce.com? If you haven't go there now and watch the mini movie she has posted. I laughed until I cried. If you need something to laugh at today, go now. You're welcome

Raise your hand

I want to know who's buying Clamato. Products come and go along the grocery store aisle and this 'juice' remains. I am strangely intrigued. I'm not planning on trying it, but I can't say I haven't thought about it. I like tomatoes, but I don't particularly like clams so I don't think I would like it. On the other hand, I like raw oysters and cocktail sauce and that is a similar blend of flavors. Hmmm. Anyone willing to try it and report back? I did check out the website (www.clamato.com) and it seems that they are trying to market it as a delicious mixer for alcohol and I can get on board with that. Judgement officially on hold.

Don't push the button

Why do we do it? Why do we do or say things that we do? For example, you walk up to an elevator and there are several people already there. You push the button. You know someone else has already pushed the button, but you just can't help yourself. You have to do it. You push the button or you really want to and restrain yourself. Why? I don't know, I think it is because there is a part of us that really thinks that if we touch the button it will actually make a difference; that we will somehow influence the speed at which the elevator will get to the desired floor. Another example of unexplainable human behavior is when we ask a question that we already know the answer to. I do it all the time. Someone asks me a question and I heard them, but I still say "what?" and then I ANSWER the question. They don't even have to repeat the question. Do I know why we do these things? No. But I'm not afraid to ask the hard questions.

The Shower/Bachelorette Party cont'd

The food looked fabulous, Jenny's house was immaculate, the champagne was chilled, and the presents were plentiful. All went well at the shower and it was a hit. I would give you the details, but you don't want to hear them. Let's move on to the after party...

There were jell-o shots, penis cake, battery operated boyfriends, outfits only the cheapest of hookers would wear (not actually worn, but given to the bride to be), and many, many, many drinks consumed. We started at Jenny's house (what a trooper! Shower and Bachelorette Party at her house in the same day!) toasted Claire, watched her open her presents, and generally celebrated "the penis" (that was what all the spoons, knives, cake and gifts were). We then moved the party to a local Mexican restaurant where I ordered the world's largest beer - I had them use the same glass they put their 64oz Margarita in. I had a nice little buzz going and the bride seemed to be feeling alright herself. Next on the trip was my apartment for a bathroom break and Peyton needed her inhaler (I dare you to provide a better example of us being old than that...) after this quick jaunt we headed to the Barking Kudu where Claire enjoyed a Blow-Job shot and many other drinks. From there we headed to another bar and it was after that that this party might have to head home. Not naming names, but a couple of us were no longer fit for public consumption, much less high heeled shoes. When you almost do a face-plant when standing still - it's time to head home. McDonald's fries, an oldies sing-along with the cabbie and some posing for pictures in the street (I mean on the street) capped off our evening. Good times had by all. I'm still tired.

I will continue the shower/bachelorette party story on Wed.

For now I will link you to this, but I think it explains my current mood.
www.youarehere1.blogspot.com/2006/04/2-years.html

see you Wednesday.

(cut and paste if it isn't a hyperlink.

The busiest weekend yet

It started Friday morning and didn't quit until Sunday afternoon. I am more than a little tired. My colleague and I took some middle schoolers on a library tour before we opened so I had to be at the library an hour and a half earlier than usual and that was little rough. After we closed Peyton came to the work and took a look around and then the errands began...

Between 4:30 and 11:00 we visited the following places to get stuff for the shower and the bachelorette party:
Party City (cups, forks, 100 plastic shot glasses)
David's Bridal (my bridesmaid's dress was in so I had to pick it up)
Pier 1 (we looked at purchasing bar stools for Jenny's house, but she couldn't decide on which ones to get; Peyton bought greeting cards)
Spencer's (we looked around for naughty things for the bachelorette party but didn't buy anything)
Hallmark (gift bags, frames; Peyton bought more greeting cards)
Love Stuff (this was definitely something that was for the bachelorette party. There were many bad, bad, bad things there and I will never be old enough to go in this particular establishment despite what the law says. With that said we had a great time looking at all the bedroom accessories, but some of that stuff was just plain wrong, people.)
Western Supermarket (cheese, nine bottles of champagne, crackers, orange juice, pineapple juice, ginger ale, and beer)
Birmingham International Airport - where they go that is international is beyond me, but I digress - (we picked up the bride to be, Claire, and I almost ran over Jenny in a panic to keep moving in the "keep moving" lane. I hate airport rent-a-cops.

We came back to my apartment and visited, ate pizza, had a few beers, and went to sleep. It was good to have everyone around and just talking about old times. Teddy also had an exciting evening as there have rarely been that many people in our apartment since we moved in. I will continue this post tomorrow and fill you in on the actual shower and the debaucheress after party...

Better mood...

I'm feeling much calmer this morning and I thought I would share the good vibes. I am picking up a bridesmaids dress today. I was thinking I would just wear it to the shower on Saturday. Might as well get the most use out of it. I kid, I kid. I won't be wearing it to the shower...I don't want to have all the fun at once, ya know. This does bring up the dilemma about what one wears to various social occasions. Too dressy? Too casual? To slutty? To conservative? I generally don't recommend anything that may come under the heading "too slutty" to any sort of shower or church event - although, let's face it, I don't darken the door of church with any regularity. I tend to veer towards too casual because I am really into being comfortable. I probably wear tennis shoes to work at least three to four times a week. I skate on the very edge of looking appropriate for work. I do have to say that I work better when I am comfortable and I am not being distracted by pointy shoes or clothes that are too tight. I am wearing slacks and a sweater set to the shower this weekend. That's all I can manage. No dresses, no pointy shoes. Such a lady...

oooooooooh. I AM IRRITATED

*this is a post that is meant to take the place of venting to the actual person*
-this is what I would like to say...verbatim

Listen you bitch, I am just about tired of the bullshit that I have had to listen to lately and I am wish you would just turn mute and sit there blinking at me and being f*cking silent. No one has died and made you the king, queen, czar, president, much less manager at Denny's so quit acting like you are so much better than other people. It may have seemed like a good idea to piss me off, but I have a feeling that you will find that that is a false idea. I can be polite and pleasant when I want to be. In that same vein I can also be a heinous bitch that would make you severely unhappy. I have decided that I am not going to be nice anymore. This will impact your life in the following ways:
- I will no longer hold back the sarcastic remarks I have been stifling for what seems like 20 years.
- I will no longer pretend that I give a care about anything about you because you certainly don't return the favor.
- I am not going to inconvenience myself in any way. If it will make you less comfortable then I will do it.
- I will enjoy all of this...endlessly

Okay. I feel better. I will probably not be mad anymore after weeks or months. Thanks for being an outlet.

Let it go

*If you have ever been in a customer service oriented profession, you will understand this post*

Have you ever been waiting in line or just happened to overhear an unhappy person arguing with an employee before? Of course you have. At some point in time it was probably you. Sometimes it is understandable when you aren't receiving adequate service, but sometimes it just isn't. I witnessed a woman argue with someone for over 15 minutes about something that the employee couldn't honestly help. He tried to be kind and patient, but she just couldn't let it go. She kept him engaged in this disagreement while a line of people formed (who also wanted service, but she didn't care). What people like this don't seem to notice is that they come off as the ass, not the person their arguing with. What exactly does this accomplish? Did she walk out of there feeling satisfied with herself? Did she accomplish anything? The answers are Nothing, no, and no. All it did was probably raise her blood pressure and put her at an increased risk of being a tool and having a stroke. Next time I find myself in this type of situation I am just going to: (say it with me now) Let. It. Go.

Things change...despite our efforts

This weekend I am throwing a shower for one of my best friends. This is a collaborative event and three of my closest friends are also hosting this social extravaganza. I have tried to do a good job and everyone else has been enthusiastic and it should be a great party. Have I been looking forward to it? At first, not so much. I was too worried that I wouldn't do it right and everyone would be disappointed in me and the results. It finally dawned on me that this coming weekend is a good thing. It will be the last (if not first and last) time that most of my girlfriends from highschool/college will be together as just us girls. Several of us live in different states and getting together is an effort (well worth it) that requires plane tickets, rental cars, time off from work or school. I guess I just wanted to blog about how grateful I am that this weekend is happening and we should get in some fun and rare bonding time. Girly - yes. Worth it - yes.

Strange

Last night we went out for Jenny's birthday. We went to an awesome restaurant and followed it up with a visit to a neighborhood bar. All in all, it was a pretty good time. This afternoon we visited a local sports bar and enjoyed some cheese fries and a few drinks to fight any lingering hangovers. It sounds pretty good, right? Not so, people, not so. Our server at the sports bar decided that we looked so hot that he had to sit down AT our table and talk with us for TWENTY MINUTES. We were almost done with our dinner when he finally got up from the table and released us from the hell that was our experience with the overly friendly waiter. While he sat with us and asked us "so, what do you ladies do for a living?" and "I'm a Jeff Gordon fan" his friend (another waiter) came up and started talking about how he was going to apply to nursing school because he found out that most of his tuition would be paid because he is bi-polar and that falls under some disability act. Seriously, he just came up and started talking about being crazy! I think we must have traveled through some time warp and ended up on the bizarre side. Finally, we got out of there and stopped by the grocery store, where the "bag boy (for lack of a better term)" started randomly talking about something I mentioned to Jenny in passing. And he just talked and talked and talked and then laughed at his own jokes and did a little snorting. It was clearly time to go home and I have been holed up here for the last several hours. Hopefully, it will be safe to leave the apartment tomorrow.

Here's the problem

Communication, people. It's all about communication. We are lazy people. We are so lazy that when someone emails us, we don't write back EVEN THOUGH it is simply a matter of clicking on the reply button and typing a few words. You don't EVEN have to put the address in the email. It is automatically done for you. I am not speaking of personal emails, so anyone reading should know that I am not speaking of my friends. I am talking about several emails I have sent at work for professional reasons and people have not responded. People who are public figures and allegedly serve the community. I am so irritated right now I feel like calling them up and asking them why they are such ASSES. All I need is a yes or no. I'm not going to be mad at the answer, but I want an answer. An acknowledgement that I have sent you a message and you have you used your (however limited) ability to read. This experience has made me realize that I need to respond to all emails that require responses as a matter of courtesy. Take this as a public service announcement and keep up with your electronic correspondence.

IT'S A MIRACLE

I am blogging from my own computer. On my couch. Watching Tivo. Life is officially good. Big shout out to the Geek Squad for fixing my clunker of a laptop. I will be back in contact and blogging regularly from now on. Let me think of a topic and I will get back to ya.

Desperation

That is what must have caused me to say I would work today at 7:30 am at the gym I used to work at before my library job. Considering the time changed it was like getting up at 5:45 this morning. Surprisingly enough I was not too tired even though I had about three hours sleep. I was up so late because I am reading this AWESOME book and I think everyone else should visit their local library or book store and get a copy IMMEDIATELY! What is this book, you ask? It is Life as We Knew It by Susan Beth Pfeffer. Generally, I don't like thrillers, but this book is the exception and I am telling everyone I know about it. Go on Amazon and read the reviews if you don't believe me.

On to another topic (as I don't blog much, it is important that I jam as much into one post as possible)...I would like to discuss weddings. As I have mentioned before, I don't have the wedding "gene." I am totally lost when it comes to planning showers, teas, invitations, food, gifts, and anything else that might be included under the heading of weddings. If I could wear flip flops and some sort of t-shirt and jeans to all the events I might be able to get on board, but that is just not happening. The wedding season is approaching and I will be attending parties for several months to come (and hosting one) and I am just a bit panicked. Other people seem to know what to do and what etiquette to follow, but I am clueless. I don't know what sorts of foods to serve if it is a daytime shower or a night time shower (and why do they call it a shower anyways?). Thank God for registries or everyone I know would be getting a half case of beer and a gift certificate to Target. Am I alone here? Do other people find all of this baffling or do you just love them and wish it would be wedding season all year round?

Hey Kids! I'm back...for now...

I know, I know, its been forever...Still no computer (right now I am using the computer at my roomies parent's house). Things are going okay for me, nothing really big right now. The same can't be said for the rest of the world, eh? I can't believe I missed my chance to blog about Anna Nicole's untimely passing and the media circus and the fun new game show "Who's My Daddy." And what about Britney's breakdown and subsequent AWESOME haircut? Talk about minimalist... Also her revolving entrance and exit to rehab. She and Lindsay Lohan make rehab look like a quick mart. Come when you want, leave when you want, and get out after a couple of days - POOF! Your healed! It is not a good sign when Kevin Federline starts coming off as the "rational" one. Could the apocalypse truly be upon us? I have really missed blogging so I will try and set aside some time at lunch every couple of days and blog from a public access computer (I work in a library so you think I would avail myself of one of our services). Talk to you soon!

The Kindness of Friends

My computer has decided to die a slow and painful death (slow for it, painful for me). That is the reason I have not posted. I am trying to avoid checking the blog at work as they monitor what sites we go to. I will post when I can and the reason I am right now is my friend brought his computer over to the apartment. So I will leave you with the question "what kind of computer would you get if you got the BSOD (blue screen of death).

The sweet release of death

That is what I was praying for during the last day and a half. I am always the person that gets a lot of colds every year, but I don't usually get anything worse. Well, my luck ended around 4 am on Sunday morning and I proceeded to get more sick than I have in about 15 years. This was one of the first times that I didn't have someone to take care of me when I was feeling so poorly. Sometimes it's just nice to have someone fuss over you and make you feel coddled. I did call my dad at 6:30 in the morning and made him sympathize with me from afar, but it just wasn't the same. I am feeling better now and taking it easy, but I will probably be back to work tomorrow.

Get Yo' Dance On

As I sit here in my apartment, four of my friends are planning their "moves" for an upcoming dance routine. No, we're not in third grade, but one of us is moving to Cali and he needs a proper send off. That send off? A choreographed dance recital. It is sure to be super cool and super funny. If you are in Birmingham make sure to go out not this Saturday, but the next and you will know our group by the smokin' moves and the groupies that will be sure to hang around. It should be special.

I love new stuff

I have been wanting a new bed set for a while and I decided to go with something a little more cheery than my last selection. A few years ago, I was going for a "modern bordello." I had a burgundy velvet duvet, black sheets, and velvet curtains. Very dark, but fun for a while. Now, I want to be a little girlier so I have gone with a quilt set from Target. It is burnt orange color with flowers and a cream background. I tried to find a picture of it online but to no avail. I'm very excited. Maybe I'll take a picture of it once it's on the bed. Perhaps I'll put all my crap up after that...nah.

Attention, Ladies

Just a friendly public service announcement, but I want to encourage everyone to get the HPV vaccine and greatly reduce your risk of getting cervical cancer. I was not even aware of HPV until a couple of years ago and I think that is absolutely ridiculous. Lately, there has been more news about this STD especially in connection with talk of Gardasil (the name of the vaccine). Next time you visit the doctor tell them you want it and reduce your risk of developing cancer. Sorry to preach, but I plan on doing the same thing and I want all my friends protected. Trust me, if this was about preventing penis cancer with a vaccine, the medicine would be available at local gas stations.

I'm back

Sorry it has taken me so long to update the blog, but I have been busy settling in and staying up late and going out. I would love to say that I have been working hard on unpacking and getting everything organized, but I have found it easier to go out and pretend all my stuff has magically put itself in drawers and gotten out of my way. It hasn't happened yet, but I'll let you know if the moving fairies have come and transformed my room into a livable habitat.

Full of crap

My apartment, I mean. I have thrown away so much stuff and if I was a little less discerning/picky I would probably be throwing away even more. My brother does, I don't. My dad throws anything away that isn't moving (too fast, at least) and my mother couldn't throw away a prescription bottle that was 15 years old. I err on the side of my father. So, do you have trouble throwing stuff away?

Packing machine

That's right. I'm back on the packing wagon! I have thrown out a bunch of trash and packed most of my books in my bedroom. I am feeling better about the whole move. It is still gonna suck, but a little less.

No fanfare, please

In the spirit of keeping the blog up to date I am letting you know that I have embarked on another round of Weight Watchers. I am in two weddings in about six months and I need to lose a lot of weight. I'm not happy with what I weigh and I need to get down to business. I bought the food and I am ready to get going. No big deal, just what I gotta do.

8 Days

I am moving in 8 days. I have packed 1 box. Apparently, I am waiting for the moving fairies to come and get my sh*t together and move it for me. My anxiety is slowly rising, but I am just too lazy to move myself. Ugh. Pray for me. I'm going to need it.

A Disturbing Thought

When my dad passes away (or I just can't manage to tolerate his Scrooge-ness anymore) where am I going for the holidays? I've always gone home, but where will I go when there isn't a "home" per se? My brother is getting married in a few months and then he will be spending his time with his new family. Where am I going to go? Okay, I'm putting it out there...who wants and aging (somewhat) single woman for the holidays (not in the too too soon future)? Let me know - I'm accepting offers. I come with presents and my own stocking. All offers will be considered.

All by myself...

I put Teddy in the kennel over New Years and I am not picking him up until tomorrow. So lonely. It is amazing how one little 20 pound dog makes such a difference. Oh well, I'll pick him up in the morning and then all will be right with the world. I'm pathetic...

Last post of 2006

Sorry, guys. I have been pretty busy and my computer has been a Beee-ooootch. Christmas was fine. I got some presents I wanted and some...I didn't. I have found that as I get older presents mean less and less. I'm certainly not wealthy, but I have enough money to buy most of what I want. Gifts don't really excite me. I like giving people stuff they want. I gave my dad a scrapbook of his life, my brother got a three tiered Craftsman tool cart, and Jenny got a beer fridge. I tried to give everyone special present because this is the first year I have been able to buy nicer gifts. So, what about yourself? Did you get something you really liked or just enjoy giving more than receiving?

P.S. Happy New Year's! See you in 2007

Off to Nashville...

I'm heading home to Nashvegas tomorrow in preparation for Christmas. I feel pretty excited about the holiday and just being home. I am going to do my share (and maybe yours, too) of baking. I need to prepare my father's present...oh, I didn't tell you about it? Well, since Scrooge doesn't like anything, I thought I would opt for not buying a traditional present and instead make a scrapbook of his life. I've talked to several family members and a couple of friends and I am going to put them together in one album and give it to him. He may not like it, but I think it will be a nice keepsake for coming years. I'll keep you updated. I'm sure I will post before Christmas, so ta ta for now...

Is it just me...

or does Mary Kate Olson's new platinum hair make her look like Cruella Deville? Ick.

Lost and Found

Yesterday my Christmas spirit was at an all time low. I was pretty upset about this as this is my most favorite time of year. For some reason it's back and I am not letting it go. I just need to accept that it won't be perfect and be happy despite other people's scrooginess. I have to admit that when I shared my lack of Christmas spirit with Mr. Scrooge himself (my father) he was quite alarmed an even said in a worried voice "Katie...that's just not like you. What's happened? Is everything okay?" I guess we both play roles every year. He humbugs while I sing Christmas carols. It's what we do.

Well, give her a cookie!

Lindsay Lohan hasn't had a drink in a week? After her year at AA? Way to go! This 20 year old must feel so proud of her achievement.

The Regression is Complete

I have now taken to tivoing the cartoon version of Berenstein Bears. Good stuff. So sad how much I enjoy watching the stories. I guess I'll be switching back to soft foods soon. We really should have seen this coming after the desire for footy pajamas, eh?

Holiday Movie Party

Tonight was the night. We changed up the movie lineup a bit, but we watched A Charlie Brown Christmas, Christmas with the Kranks, and Love Actually. The food was tasty. We had mini pigs in a blanket, sausage balls (you know, to cover the important processed meat categories), regular and chocolate rice krispie treats, rotel dip, and eggnog. Several of my good friends stopped in and watched the movies. Honestly, the evening ended earlier than usual and very little alcohol was consumed (also, not a regular occurrence for the party). All in all, it was a little more reserved than usual and has me feeling rather old. It makes me actually contemplate abandoning the party. I mean, most of my friends don't even like Christmas movies. It's kind of like I make people come over and watch movies I like to watch and torture them. Oh well. I guess that's what friends are for.

Are we really this lazy?

I keep seeing advertisements for a dvd/cd opener. Apparently, we as Americans are so lazy that we can't even manage to unwrap plastic from cd or dvd cases. I think it should be a rule that if you can't open your own dvds or cds (and don't have a physical impairement) then you should not be allowed to own such items.

You know what makes me warm and fuzzy?

The song "Oh Holy Night." Everytime I hear a good version of it, I am almost brought to tears. I get chills and really feel like I am getting what Christmas is all about. Favorite version: The Three Tenors; Second Favorite version: Josh Groban (trust me, I am as surprised as you); Least Favorite version: Celine Dion (ick. double ick). Do you have a favorite carol?

So Excited!

I get paid on Thursday and then I will be able to go Christmas shopping! I have been waiting for this ALL season! Put your requests in early, who knows how long the money will last?

Torture

I am working at my part-time job right now (the one that I was working at before my library job) and I am listening to the dull roar of ill-behaved children playing foosball and running around and disturbing other people while their parents play tennis and ignore them. Lately, I have found that there are generally two sets of parents in this world: the kind that herd their children and the kind that get herded.

The kind that herd:
They keep a fairly good watch over their kids and make sure that they don't act up too much in public places and don't destroy too much public property. They also seem to realize that other people don't find their children nearly as endearing as they do or have the ability to tune out the noise that they make. I find these kinds of parents to be responsible and doing the best they can. Their children also tend to be pleasant and as well-behaved as children are likely to be.

The kind that get herded:
These parents are being played by their children like a violin. They meekly tell them to "shush" when they are screaming and running around (which has a negligible effect, if any) like tiny yetis. They continue on with their shopping and errands without regard for the suffering of other people. Their children will most likely grow up to be serial murderers or the kind of people that show off their unencumbered body parts when getting in and out cars.

Word of Advice

It seems to me that celebrities (particularly ones of the young and female persuasion) have been making some poor decisions of late. I think you know where this is going...

Britney, Britney, Britney...for someone who has as much money as she does it seems like she could make some allowances for panties. Or longer dresses. Or the skill to get in and out of cars without showing everyone what God gave you and then some. Also, she was working on courting public opinion and basking in the glow of shedding her dead-beat, pathetic "rapper" husband and then she has to start hanging around with Paris "that's hot" Hilton. I may be mistaken, but doesn't she have two small children at home? As a friend of mine suggested, maybe Brangelina adopted them. Can you imagine the horror of being Sean Preston Federline at the age of 13 or 14 surfing the internet and catching a glimpse of your mama's nether regions. Take a moment and pray, people.

And on to Lindsay Lohan. Apparently she has been attending AA meetings. Good for her. Perhaps she might want to quit drinking before wearing her 90 day sobriety chip. I think that's the point of the organization. It's like if I joined Weight Watchers and brought donuts and to the meeting and told everyone I was "thinking" about losing weight. She also needs to invest in underwear as Britney is not the only young lady in Hollywood going commando...and proving it.

Chocolate Rice Krispie Treats

Sarah asked for the recipe, so I thought I would go ahead and post it:

Use your standard recipe for regular Rice Krispie Treats. Make sure that you SLOWLY melt the butter in the pot. You can't rush the process. Nothing nastier than burned butter. Also, SLOWLY melt the marshmallows (the only thing nastier than burned butter). This is when you add the chocolate chips. I don't measure them, but it probably works out to a cup and a half. Let the chocolate melt completely, pour in the rice krispies, and remove from the heat. Take a buttered spatula and scrape the mixture into a really well buttered rectangular dish (9X13). Do not use PAM. Use butter, it tastes better. Let cool. Enjoy. They're really good!

Take heart

My Christmas spirit is not in jeopardy. I am still going to enjoy the season and I am offering this proposition for anyone who reads the blog:

The Virtual Holiday Movie Party 2006

For those of you not in the know, I have an annual holiday movie party. The first year was 1998. And I have had one every year since. Anyone reading this blog is invited to participate. For everyone who reads this blog and lives in Birmingham you are invited to my party on Saturday Dec. 9th (time TBA) at my place. For anyone who lives somewhere else I encourage you to watch along with us at home. The proposed movies/holiday specials are:

A Charlie Brown Christmas
Christmas with the Kranks
It's a Wonderful Life

If these are movies that you have seen or want to watch something else, past movies are as follows:

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
A Christmas Carol
Elf
Love Actually
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
(and anything else you want to watch that gets you in the Christmas mood)

Snacks are also important. We always have regular and chocolate Rice Krispie Treats, cocktail weenies, and Rotel dip. Anything that is high salt, fat, sugar or other various processed foods. Mmmm-mmm.

Go forth and be merry

First step. Final realization.

I put the fabulous tree up over the weekend and it is just as beautiful as last year. I tried to take a picture of it, but the lights make it impossible to tell what it is (and without lights, what is a Christmas Tree?). Very exciting stuff. I love looking at the tree and in looking at its near perfection, I have come to an important conclusion: Christmas will never be what I want it to be. I watch the movies, read the books, plan the perfect dinner and set the bar too high. I am disappointed every year because I have set my sights on the impossible dream: a storybook Christmas. What should I do about this? Lower my standards or try not to be bothered by my dad and his scroogy-ness. Abandon the movies, books, and dinner plans and just take it as it comes? I just don't know, but something needs to change. Are you perpetually disappointed on Christmas or is really just me?

What conclusion to draw?

Let me first state: I live in a good neighborhood. Nothing too scary, fairly middle class. With that, I am a bit alarmed by the activities of my downstairs neighbors. Last night I heard a lot of bumping around and something close to a crash. Then I heard their front door open and close. I looked out my window and saw their refrigerator sitting on the front lawn. Ya'll, I live in an apartment. Generally the fridge stays in the apartment at all times. 10 minutes later the refrigerator was back in the apartment. Bizarre behavior? Yes. I watch a lot of Dog the Bounty Hunter and I have decided they are running a meth lab. Maybe some of their concoction spilled inside and they took it out to clean it. Sure, meth lab seems a little like jumping to conclusions, but I don't have the most patience for this neighbor to begin with. I have to listen to her amorous encounters at least two times a week (her bedroom is right above mine and quiet she is not), listen to the hacking coughing that comes from them smoking pot (I can smell it outside the door when I'm walking Teddy), and the loud television watching - I can actually hear distinct dialogue through the wall. I am going to be so pissed if I get blown up by their home chemistry experiments.

Social Commentary

Okay, since I have been discussing several things that have happened in the news of late, I thought I would throw the whole Kelly Ripa vs. Clay Aiken vs. Rosie O'Donnell thing out there. In case you missed it basically Clay was guest hosting on Regis and Kelly and Kelly Ripa must have said something that annoyed Clay or whatnot and he reached over and covered her mouth with his hand and said "You never know where that hand has been..." or something to that effect. Rosie O'Donnell has weighed in on this issue and called Kelly homophobic because of what she said and did. First off, Clay is not out of the closet so as far as anyone is concerned he could be gay or straight. Rosie also stated that had it been someone else (like attractive) Kelly would have reacted differently. Nice Rosie. Out Clay Aiken AND call him fugly. Good Lord. Mel Gibson and Michael Richards really did say hateful things, but Kelly basically conveyed that she didn't want someone's hand over her mouth. It's not like she said "get your fucking gay-ass hand off my fucking straight mouth." I could give a crap who people sleep with and I think Rosie overreacted and stuck her nose in somewhere it doesn't belong. Has Clay come out and spoken about how he felt so offended or discriminated against? No. Until that time, Rosie is just putting words and thoughts into people's heads.

What do you think

About Michael Richard's racist tirade at a comedy club? It seems quite reminiscent of Mel Gibson's anti-semitic remarks after he was arrested for drunk driving. I just wonder what people are thinking when they say these things. What possesses someone to call people such hateful names? Just because they got heckled? As far as I know, being heckled is part of the job when you are a stand-up comedian. How do you explain it away or apologize enough? Just to note, neither Mel nor Michael are from the southeastern part of the United States. In case anyone wants to point fingers at the South for their racist tendencies, I will have you know that neither my friends nor I would ever say the kinds of things that either Gibson or Richards said. They deserve public condemnation.

Peeved

Though, I shall not name names, I am going to vent a little about someone here on the ole blog. Someone (once again, who shall remain nameless) is supposed to be visiting me in Nashville today and tomorrow, but I have not heard from this certain someone since Friday. Friday. This person does not know how to get to my house in Nashville and it is a little irritating that they are MIA. I could be making plans with some of my other friends up here, but I was waiting for this person to call and say they were coming or weren't coming. At first I was just worried that something may have happened, but another friend of mine let me know that they had logged into their myspace account yesterday. Hmmm. Not looking good for this person and I am still peeved. I think I will just make my alternative plans and not worry about the other person. I know that this post is a bit rambling, but I had to express my displeasure.

sad.

I talked to my brother tonight and he informed me that our family dog, Murphy has doggy cancer. It is a form of melanoma and they don't really know how it will affect his quality of life or how long he will be with us. I got really upset. He was my first dog and I housetrained him and cared for him during his first formative months. He may not be the smartest or best trained dog, but he is one of the sweetest. He was also my mother's dog. He gave her happiness and comfort when she was sick and couldn't really go anywhere. He was with her when she died and he stayed with her until someone found her. He meant a great deal to her and if he dies then it means I will lose one more thing that was connected to her. I have faith that he will be okay for a long time. I'm just not ready.

The List

The best part of Christmas is that when you get presents from your friends and family it doesn't matter if you are naughty or nice. They will still give you presents. I will still give you presents even if you were bad. Only Santa can judge. With all of this said, I have started my list of people to give presents and what I should give them. I have already figured out what to get some people, but there are several stragglers. My father is one of these stubborn "hard to shop for s.o.b.'s" (I mean that in the most complimentary way possible). If you recall, I have already discussed this problem (see posts from Nov. and Dec. of 2005) and my father is never satisfied. I have no idea what I am going to wrap up and put under the tree. It doesn't really matter what I get him. He will hate it and forget what it was within 36 minutes. A loving, generous father he is. Gracious gift receiver he is not. What are you getting your dad?

Optimism

Generally, I don't discuss politics too often on this blog, but the recent elections have inspired me. I am hopeful about our political situation for the first time in several years. Due to our recent election, the Democrats have taken control of some of our political future. Do I align myself strictly with Democrats? No. Republicans? No. Do I think something is severely wrong with how things have been going lately? Yes. I think it is time for change and a party shake-up is just what we needed. Can't wait 'til the presidential election!

It's beginning to look...

A lot like Christmas...yes, it's that time again. If you are a little taken aback by my early holiday spirit then you need to read the posts around this time last year. I have tried to put off my celebration of Christmas to after Thanksgiving, but I just can't. I've already bought some hot apple cider mix, candy canes, and seriously contemplated pulling out The Tree. I have resisted the urge to get the tree out, but I am bowing to the need to get into "the spirit." Christmas music is just around the corner. Who's ready?

I love it.

Props to my friend Ashley for informing me of this little tidbit...

My favorite driver, future baby daddy, and all around hottie, Dale Jr. is in the new Jay-Z video "Show Me What You Got." I saw it by looking up the title on YouTube. Not only is he a talented driver, but he is also super cool. Check it out and enjoy.

My punishment

I am the proud new driver of the world's smallest pimp mobile. A gold Kia Rio. I'm not going to lie - it's a pretty sweet ride. I got a rental car while my car is in the shop. I knew I wasn't going to be ridin' in style, but I thought it would be a little better. It only has 12,000 miles on it, but trust me it has been a rough 12K for this little car. As I approached the car I noticed a lovely array of stains on the seats and the tempting aroma of stale cigarette smoke. Mmm-mmm. Since the guy at the body shop seemed quite doubtful that my Civic will be fixed before Thanksgiving, me and my Rio are going to be together for a while. yyyyyeeeeeeessssss!

I'm pretty well aquainted with Murphy

As in Murphy's Law. You know those phrases like "life is what happens when you're making plans" or "You plan, God laughs." I like looking into my financial future and trying to plan what I am going to be doing in the next few months with my finances. I do this because Christmas is coming and I am moving in with a friend so my rent is going down.

Then I am driving along today on my way to meet a friend for brunch and it happens. Car Accident. I am fine. They're fine. It was just that, an accident. I feel stupid because it was just one of those things, but I keep thinking "how much is this going to cost?" I have insurance, but there are deductibles, rental cars, and incidental costs. My front bumber is toast. My car was in perfect condition because it was only 8 months old. They're back bumper is just scratched. I would still have it this way. Thank God they were okay. They were great. I cried. My dad fussed. I feel stupid.

If it's not one thing, it's another. sigh.

Yes, Ma'am!

I got my donuts. After Jenny and Roach and I saw Borat, I made them go to Krispy Kreme with me (I sure did have to twist some arms...). I got a dozen, shared two of those and the rest are with me - Oh what will I do with all these donuts? I'm sure I'll think of something.

I will include a movie review in this post since I mentioned Borat. I laughed repeatedly, but some of the movie I felt kind of sad. It is kind of a poor statement on the United States. Some of the things the people said in the movie were horrifying, but not surprising. I wonder what they think after realizing they were duped? I know that the character is an exaggeration, but some of the stuff in the movie (especially the anti-semitism, homophobia, masochism, etc) was a little much. Don't get me wrong, I still laughed alot and enjoyed the movie, but it did make me think...and cringe. I would say it would be a 3.5 out 5.

A tiny piece of heaven

Krispy Kreme donuts. I want a yummy, warm plain glazed donut. There is just not anything better. I love them fresh. Not from the grocery store, from the actual Krispy Kreme store. Yum, yum. At some point this weekend they will be mine. Mark these words. Yup, yup.

It is so sad how happy this makes me...

I was on one of my favorite sites for tv updates (www.thefutoncritic.com) and I saw that Reba was going to be on the CW Nov. 19th. I was confused at first because Reba was cancelled last season - which I thought was a big mistake on the part of the network. I did some googling and found out that due to viewer response they are bringing it back for 13 more episodes this season. This makes me so happy. I really liked this show and I am glad that it is back on the air, even temporarily. I know, I'm pathetic. I don't care, I'll be too busy watching Reba.

Happy Halloween from the King

These are pictures of Teddy in his too small Elvis costume I got from Target. They only had a small so the little jumpsuit and "hair" are way too tight, but it just makes it that much more hilarious. The only thing I can compare his behavior to (when he has this lovely outfit on) is when you put a cat on a leash. He just freezes and stares. Cruel? Yes. F*ckin' funny? Hell, yes.

Mainstream cult

Scientology. I watched a 48 Hours Mystery episode about a man in his mid-twenties who stabbed his mother 70+ times. Before he committed this crime he was hearing voices and was experiencing other problems with his mental health. Since Tom Cruise and his other cult members believe that psychiatrists are evil and mental illness doesn't exist he never got any help. WTF? Am I the only person that believes that Tom, John, Kirstie, Leah (Remini) are members of a cult?

The sign to leave

As it is Halloween time, I have been watching spooky movies and this has brought me to one conclusion...or a personal rule if you will. First, let me set the scene: you know that part in a ghost movie where one of the characters is in the bathroom and bends down to wash their face or opens the medicine cabinet to grab something and when they look in the mirror next the face of a scary ghost is staring back at them? Well, if this ever happened to me, I would grab my sh*t and get the f*ck out! I would not look for the ghost, I would not go to the local library and study why the ghost is in my house, I would not consult the local town folk and debate what to do. I would be a former resident of that town and finding myself a new home. That's just me.

I want Footy P.J.'s

Little kids get the best clothes. I'm not talking about the starchy linen dresses or short pants, but the comfy onesies. I think some footy pajamas to wear around my house would be AWESOME. Do you know that it is quite difficult to find these kinds of pajamas for adults? I have looked all over the web and found a few pairs, but nothing that really grabs me. Anybody have any suggestions on places to look?

P.S. It's okay, I know I'm weird.

I'm a sick individual

Ever since I bought my tivo, I have become a very impatient t.v. watcher. I want to fast forward through everything and get to the good stuff. I went home to Nashville and was tivo-less for around 48 hours. I'm not going to lie, it was tough. In my desperation I turned to Marie Osmond. Yes. Marie. Osmond. She is a regular on QVC (which has no commercials) and she promotes her line of porcelain dolls. Creepy, yet fascinating, porcelain dolls. Their vacant stares accompanied by Marie's hokey descriptions of how dolls make everything better is quite entertaining. I probably watched over two hours of this lovely programming and I am ashamed, but also going through a bit of withdrawal right now.

Colin Michael

I arrived in Nashville about twenty minutes after he was born. I have never been that close to a newborn baby before and it was definitely awe inspiring and intimidating. I wouldn't hold him while I was standing because I was afraid I would drop him and break him. He is soooooo tiny! He didn't cry very much but he would just look around the room and just seemed to be taking it all in. Isabella (his big sister) took everything in stride, but you can tell she is going to get tired of all this fuss pretty soon. I know it has to be confusing to her because she has been the most important person in her family for the last four and half years and this new little person is moving into her house and he isn't leaving, ever. She'll adjust, but it's going to be hard. On a side note, I did go watch her soccer game on Saturday morning and I loved seeing all the little girls follow that ball all over the field willy-nilly. They call it herd ball for a reason.

The case for drinking.

Well, I don't need to make one. Just kidding. I thought the title would lure you in...heehee.

I am heading to Nashville this weekend because one of my closest friends (the one who left a comment on the previous post about me trying to steal her four-year-old daughter's pink chair - I'm all class) is having her second baby! I will be the godmother to this baby as well (I am also Isabella's godmother) and I plan on lavishing attention on this baby, too. I bitch and moan about some kids, but I really love that little girl and I am sure that I will feel the same about her little brother. As I have told Ashley time and again, no matter how uncool her children will come to believe she is, they will ALWAYS think their Aunt Katie is cool. It's better than having your own kids! Let me know if anybody else needs a godmother.

Ahh, the joy of children

I am around children all day. No, I don't have any of my own, but my job requires that I am in their presence constantly. Don't get me wrong, I like kids, but some of them are...um...less adorable. It seems if you get two or three together of similar age they conspire and launch upon some unsuspecting person or object and tear it apart or torture it into submission. I think the thing that gets me are the parents that seem to pay no attention to this behavior or they have become so exhausted that they don't care what kind of disasters their children leave in their wake. I understand that kids are inquisitive and curious, but I am talking about the actual breaking of things and destruction of expensive property. If I happen to look less than pleased (without actually saying anything - as I believe it is a parent's place and responsibility to discipline their own children) they give me all sorts of "eat-shit-and-die" looks. I feel like going to their house and tearing up their things and leaving them to clean it up. It's kind of like when my dad threatened to come over to my house and leave all the lights on "so I would know what it feels like" and "learn that money doesn't grow on trees."

Ramona

I have been reading Beverly Cleary's Ramona books. I used to love these books when I was growing up and I decided to read some of them again to revisit some great children's literature. Some books intended for children are not that interesting to adults, but this is not the case for these books. Ramona alway reminded me of myself when I was growing up. She always got into a lot of trouble and had no idea how it happened. I would do something bad and feel instant remorse and my parents would be angry and frustrated at me. During the course of my childhood I cost my parents a crap load of money due to my curiosity and destructiveness. The amount of money easily crossed into the thousands. A quick list of the things my parents had to pay to replace are as follows: a bathroom sink, carpeting for my room and the hall, two doors, an entire make-up kit and perfume, numerous brackets for braces, several home visits for plumbers to unclog the toilet after I flushed lincoln logs and clothing down it, and a variety of toys that I dismembered, crushed, or ruined by leaving them outside. Yes, my parents are currently awaiting confirmation on their respective sainhood.

Honesty and your parents

Due to several conversations I have had this week I am inspired to ask the question: how honest are you with your parents? If I was to give a percentage I would say that I am 85% honest or upfront with my dad. I don't talk about everything with him, but I do include him in most of what is going on in my life. It has come to my attention that there are many people that lie to their parents ALL THE TIME or they keep major parts of their life hidden from them. I am talking about ADULTS. People who can join the armed services, vote for president, drink legally and they still lie to their mommy and daddy about having a few beers. I don't get this. What are they afraid of? It seems sad to me that they feel they have to hide their true selves. Aren't parents supposed to love you despite your shortcomings?

Percentage-wise, how honest are you?

P.S. I do have to say that there are some people that are TOO honest with their parents. They tell them everything and I mean everything. One of the best things my mom told me was that she wanted me to feel like I could talk to her about important things, but she didn't want to know everything. That was what my friends were for. She always told me that she didn't want to be my friend (and I don't mean that in a bad way), but my mom.

Okay, so...

First event not so much a success. The way I figure it, this just sets the bar really low and my next event will seem like a success. Um, yeah, so that's what I'm telling myself. It's okay, I had some comfort from friends and I feel alright about it. I will just have to learn from this and do things differently. Unfortunately my target demographic is a bit hard to reach and I will have to be extremely creative. Hmmm. Something to aim for.

I'm going to take a trip...

I have decided that I'm not getting any younger (part of this realization comes from the fact that my loving friends keep reminding me) and I need to take a trip. I want to go to Memphis and visit Graceland. I can't be a fan of Elvis and never visit his hallowed home. I'm not sure when I am taking this trip, but I have the itinerary slightly planned out. I will arrive at Graceland and spend many hours enjoying the abode of The King. After my time at Graceland I am going to move on to Tunica, MS and gamble (and probably have a few adult beverages). Ahhh, Elvis, gambling, and drinking. What more do you want?

Day off

I love my job. I got vacation hours for my birthday (I know, isn't that cool!) and decided to take the day off today. I have slept an awful lot and caught up on my weekend episodes of Beverly Hills, 90210. I am making hashbrown casserole settling in for more television watching. I have an event I planned for the library tomorrow night and I am VERY worried about how it will turn out. I am sure I will let everyone know what happens, so keep me in your thoughts.

Ahhh! The relief!

I slept a little lighter last night after the news of Paris and Nicole's reconciliation. It has been a long 21 months (the feud dates back to early 2005) and I, for one, and so happy that this couple has finally managed to make things work. Join me in a prayer of thanks, people.

I'm not dumb so quit treating me like I am.

I am watching the first three episodes of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip and I am struck by the thought that these people think all t.v. watchers are stupid. I will let you know that I am a Nielson rating's dream. I watch t.v., I am more than passably intelligent, and I keep up with current events. I hate watching a show that talks about "red states" and "blue states" and "Christians" and "others." Blah, blah, blah. Here's how it is: I live in a red state, I probably swing more like the blue states. I am a Christian, but I don't talk about it incessantly because I believe that spirituality is a highly personal thing. Also, if I hear one more southern joke I will delete this show permanently from my Tivo Season Pass. You want to be cutting edge? Fine, then don't assume things about people you don't know and a place you have never lived.

Wouldn't it be nice if

We actually did what we said we were going to do? I am talking about when people get together and say "we should get together for lunch." Everyone always says "definitely, I'll call you." I guess it's better than "Hell no! I'd rather have a root canal." Why do we do this? Is it because we don't want to hurt people's feelings? That we really intend on going, but it slips our mind? You don't actually want to be the one that puts themselves out there? Hmmm. I do the same thing, I guess I'm just curious to hear what you think.

Good sign

Today I had my first foray in library programming and it was a success. I was very nervous that no one would show up or something would go wrong, but this didn't happen. We had a good turn out and several of the people thanked me afterward. Cue the sigh of relief. My next programming adventure will be next Thursday and there is more pressure because I have done all of the programming and it will be off-site. All of this planning makes me feel like I am good at something that matters. Another thing that has been an unexpected result of my new job is my ability to stretch my creative muscles. I never really thought I would be someone who could come up with "cute" ideas. Generally, I am not into "cute" and I tend to mock anything that resembles adorable. I guess things change. For the better.

Dueling Topics

I have two things to talk about today:

1. The Keg Party - Several people have commented that I haven't said anything about the party, so I thought I would fill ya'll in. I had a good time. It feels good to know that your friends like you enough to gather around you and drink to celebrate the occasion of your birth. Seriously, it does make me happy that people want to be with me on my birthday. Yes, I did my first, second, and last keg stands that night and plan on NEVER doing it again. It was an experience and I will leave it at that. All of the birthday wishes I received were appreciated and I love all of my friends. And just for the record- no, I didn't have an actual 18 yr old rub all over me. My love life is still like the Sahara Desert. Make your own analogies.

2. The House of Carters: Bad reality television=Katie sitting on her house soaking it in. I can't help myself. I love to watch celebrities making asses of themselves. Most favorite quote yet? from Aaron Carter himself (of Aaron's Party - the album - fame, and the boy that romanced not only Hilary Duff, but Lindsay Lohan and created the feud that rocked the 'tween' world): "my heart's so big (in reference to what a good person he is) I can feel it beating out of my chest." I think the reason he can feel it beating out of his chest is because he is high on crystal meth. Good stuff - you should tune in.

Yup, yup - TMI

The following is going to be a rant/tmi post. Here ya go:

I watch a fair amount of television, right? Well, I have noticed the number of hot men gracing the airwaves of late and it is just a little frustrating. There they go, prancing half naked across my screen and what do I get to lock my gaze on at home? A smelly (but sweet) schnauzer. I am in the worst shape of my life - slugs have more muscle tone than I do. And the last eligible bachelor I met was so long ago it was probably while I was mastering the art of cursive in third grade. The likelihood of my going on a date with someone that I didn't troll around and find on the internet (not just yet) is approximately the same chance that George W. Bush has of marching in a gay pride rally. yup.