Can you imagine

Being one of those people on myspace? You know who I'm talking about:

The guy that sends you a message with one of the following charming introductions:

Hey, baby! Just saw your pic and you look hawt! Dayum. Wanna be friends?
Um, no. Last time someone asked me to be friends we were in the second grade and it was because the sneaky bitch wanted to borrow my Derek doll - which was way hotter than the Ken doll. Plus, I value correct spelling.
What up, sweetie? I've been looking for some female company and you look like fun, check out my page if your interested!
I look like fun? Was it how I posed behind the ceramic frog that turned you on? And interested in what, might I add?
Hey! I think we have a lot in common, let me know what you think!
Upon further inspection, bachelor #3 listed his number one interest as "stacking dollars." There's not really much I can say to this.

I think I will pick out some random guy on myspace and send him a message with the following:

Wow! I thought you had to be a porn star to look that good! We should meet up sometime! I have no desire to see my friends and family again, so I decided soliciting someone online was a sure thing! Let me know what you think, lover.