Winding down (get ready - it's a long one)

"A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself." ~unknown
"A friend is someone who dances with you in the sunlight, And walks with you in the shadows." ~unknown

So far, this week has been really good. I have been taking better care of myself and catching up on some much needed sleep. I don't mind going to work in the morning because I know that I don't have to do it too many more times. My new job starts Monday and I feel really hopeful and excited about it and my life. It has been so long since I have felt genuinely hopeful about much of anything in my life and I am grateful for the way things seem to be working out. Lately, I have heard of several people close to my age commiting suicide and I am thankful that I don't feel like that anymore (although my thoughts never reached beyond passive musings). You want to be happy, but you just can't seem to get it together and you feel like nobody else really gets it and even if they did you don't want to burden them when they have their own problems. I think that one of the things that kept me going and putting one foot in front of the other were my friends. When I was a kid I was not one of the popular kids, in fact I was one of the unpopular kids. I was made fun of and never really felt like I belonged (you know how cruel kids can be), but after I was around 13 I started making some very close friends. I think that I have an eclectic group of people that I call good friends and I hope they think of me in the same way. My oldest friend, Lee, has been there since we were babies and somehow we manage to keep in touch and keep our respective parents in line. Ashley and I have been friends since we were 13 and beyond all probability we have remained close. During high school I became (and remained) friends with Peyton - remember freshman orientation when we were actually sophomores?. Casey and I couldn't stand each other for an entire summer before I finally called to make amends and the rest is history in that regard. I got to college and met some more cherished friends along the way including several people who read this blog and some who don't. Angela and I met on the first day we met with our advisors and I knew she was going to be my friend the moment she uttered the words "I'm more autistic than artistic." Claire and I met our freshman year, but we didn't become really close until sophomore year and now I get to be her Maid of Honor in her wedding! I also met Sarah (Belle of Madison) and we became friends despite the huge gap in our ages (um, she was totally a freshman when I was a sophomore - gasp!). Then fate stepped in and I met Jenny. As you may know from reading this blog we hang out a lot and are the best of friends. She probably makes me laugh more than anybody I know and we have gotten into a lot of mischief together. After college I lived with Sarah S. (actually now, F) and we had a lot of fun being on our "own" for the first time. In the past few years I have met so many other people that are great friends to me including Roach, Sara G., Rachel B., Fran, Jenny W (now R.) and on and on. I guess this started as one post and now it's become some sort of thank you to my friends. So, if I left you out, I'm sorry because I love all of you. If I put you in and you don't agree then too bad :) - I'm not letting anybody go!