A Day in the Life

It's me again. Teddy, the cooler counterpart to Katie (I like to call her The Taskmaster). I thought I would fill you in on a typical day in my life (basically, all the things Katie doesn't know about and would have a sh*t fit if she knew):

Around 6:30 am I abruptly wake up and have to pee. Immediately. Sometimes I don't, but I sure do like waking Ms. Lazy Bones up from the last ten minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off. She usually tries to distract me, but I just jump off the bed and jump back on a stand right over her head and whine until she gets up. It's great. She's like a disgruntled puppet. After I do my business, we head back inside and I sit on the couch and spy on all the people and dogs that walk around while she takes a shower. Once I have barked and growled and properly guarded my territory it is usually time for what I term "the act." This is where I whine and pretend to be really upset about her going off to work. Something along the lines of (if I chose to speak) "Oh, no, please don't go! My life is over when you leave the confines of this apartment. Why? Why me? Will the misery never stop? Yada, yada, yada..." This ensures that she feels extremely guilty going off to her job. Ha. My work is done. Once she is out the door, I run to the bedroom window and make sure she is really leaving. After she leaves (for sure, sometimes that bitch tricks me and comes back in to get something she "forgot" - right) I run around the living room searching for any food she may have left out. If that turns up nothing, I watch my shows. This typically includes the Golden Girls and Will & Grace because she has the t.v. on Lifetime and I can't change it because of tivo. That Sophia! She is a real pistol! After this I settle in for my mid-morning nap which can run into my early afternoon nap. This is when the real fun part begins, but since this post is going a bit long, I will continue this at a later time...