All in the name of science

I'm sick. I have a nasty cold and I have come to the only reasonable conclusion there is. The lack of beer has caused this to happen. I figure that before Wednesday of last week my body was such a toxic site that no self-respecting germ would have made its way to my body. Now, all my clean living (well, relatively clean - compared to last week - super clean) I have become host to some sort of dread parasite that is slowly sapping my strength and will to live. My mother always said that she never got really sick until she quit smoking and then all hell broke loose. She said it was because of the fine coating of nicotine and tar she had that served as a "protective seal" against harmful elements. That's what I have forfeited. My protective seal of hops and barley - two of the most important food groups and vitamin supplements if you ask me. Next week - the plague. It really will be like Passover.