A Pippie Broke Into to My House!

Okay, so maybe that's not true, but it smells like it. Let me explain.

Several months ago I purchased several items from Drugstore.com and along with my new goodies, the store also sent along a complimentary bottle of scented surface cleaner. Wow, what a nice gesture. Huh. Yeah, right. The scent was Green Tea (I'm still on board at this point) and Patchouli (You just lost me). WTF. If this doesn't prove to you that Satan exists or that God has an ironic sense of humor I don't know what will. Well, to my great dismay and regret, I didn't throw the offending bottle into the trash -where it should be. I left it sitting on my living room side table and I have moved it out of my way regularly, but I haven't made the effort to throw it away. Last night I came home after having dinner and thought the ole' apartment smelled a little earthy. Nothing too strong, just a little "Widespread Panicesque." I took Teddy out for his walk and came back inside and noticed that there was something on his doggie bed (it was dim in the room). I leaned down and to my horror realized that Teddy had pulled the bottle down and chewed the top off of the bottle and allowed the Pippie Perfume to leak onto his bed. Damn. Patchouli just doesn't go away. That sh*t clings. I am under the sneaking suspicion that after this initial exsposure to Satan's Brew, Teddy may be turning into one of "them." Don't panic. I am going to have an intervention and take away his new bohemian shirt and his mini non-specific peace sign. It's not too late. He can be saved. A pox is upon me house...